Oregonian Visitors

My brother Nate, his partner Ashley, my nephew Everett, and my mom all came to visit for Nora's birthday!  After looking forward to their visit for months, I feel like it came and went before I even know what happened, but I am so glad they were able to make it out to see us and spend some extra time with Nora as she reached this big milestone.

Nate came to visit us when Nora was a few weeks old, and we've been to Oregon several times in the interim, but this was the first trip east for their family.  Ashley had never been out here before and this was the first cross-country trip for Everett.  They came for just about a week and stayed with Vickie in her new place, while my mom was able to get away for a long weekend and stayed with us. I had to work a few days while they were here, so Nora got to skip school to spend one day with Nate, Ashley, and Everett and one day with Oma.  And, of course, they were able to join us for Nora's family and friend parties over the weekend.  This made their visit a complete whirlwind for me, and I think that next time they come back, I will make exactly zero plans so we can just hang out and do whatever tourist type stuff they are interested in.  Nonetheless, I really enjoyed the chances I did have to enjoy some low-key hang out time with my family members while they were here.

I love getting to see my brother in his still fairly new role of Dad, and Everett is such a delight.  He is learning to crawl and wants to be standing all the time, so I suspect this was my last chance to see him as a baby before he develops into a walking, babbling little toddler.  Nate takes such obvious delight in him that it makes my heart smile to see the two of them together.  I would have chosen Ashley for a friend if I'd met her under different circumstances, so I enjoy having a chance to get to know her better with each visit.

Although Nora continued to be jealous of attention given to Everett, she is very interested in what he is doing.  For his part, Everett was awed by his big cousin and watched her every move attentively.  I hope that as Everett gets more mobile they will quickly become buddies.  I continue to be amazed and comforted by how well Nora retains understanding of who her relatives from my side are, even though she rarely gets to see most of them.  When Mom arrived, she was instantly greeted with excited shouts of "Oma!"  As soon as Nora woke up each morning of the visit (and for a few days afterwards), she would immediately request to "see Evitt" or "see Oma."  She also tried to use this as an excuse to avoid bedtime, claiming she "need to see Evitt," "need to see Ashee," "need to see Unka Nate," "Oma read tuh me."  Thanks to Vickie's re-arranging of her work schedule, she and Tres were also able to join us for most of our family time activities, so it really was a wonderful week.  It's rare that Vickie and I get to enjoy time with our family, and even more rare to do so in our own element, so I really tried to savor the opportunity to have them here.  They even helped me celebrate the approval of my dissertation prospectus!

We didn't take a whole lot of photos during the visit, but here are a few of us hanging out together.

On the last day of their visit (Nora's actual birthday!) I had my friend Ena of One Art Photography take some pictures of us as a whole group.  We are looking forward to get the full set back, so I may have some more to share in a few weeks, but here are some of my favorites of the sneak peak Ena posted to facebook!

I love these pictures because you can see how happy we all are to be together.  Thank you Nate, Ashley, Everett, and Mom for making the trip!  We loved seeing you guys and having you share in Nora's birthday festivities.  We are all lucky that you're our family and we can't wait to see you again.

Mirror Mirror

Vickie is settling on her house as we speak!  I can't even explain how proud and happy this makes me.  When she moved in with us to look for a job in the area several years ago, I had no idea how long we would get to keep her.  When it took a while for her to find a job, I was afraid she'd move back home and consider the whole thing a big mistake.  But then she got an awesome job, and then I found out I was pregnant, and then she got an awesome apartment, and then we gave her a niece, and eventually her boyfriend moved here.  So I knew she had plenty reasons to stay in the area besides being close to me, but now that she owns property only a few miles away, she's stuck with me!

In an attempt to accept that Vickie is proving she's all grown up, I'm sharing these pictures that show we seem to be mirror images of one another.  (Bonus reason: It makes me look good to be suggest I have things in common with her.) Vickie and I have never thought we looked much alike.  People tell us we do, but we can't see it.  Maybe this is because in my head I'm still the big one and she's the little one, or because I still think of her as a true blonde who rubbed it in when she grew taller than me.  But after having a set of professional candid photos taken of us together, I am ready to agree with everyone who says our mannerisms and body movements are nearly identical.

Thoughtful resting face:

Toddler balancing stance:

In the walking photos, it's easy to see that we hold our bodies the same because we are in nearly the same place in our stride at the same moment.  In both pictures.

For bonus points, our heads are at same angle and and our feet are in the same position in this one.

Legs crossed at the ankle, left leg in front, feet at the exact same angle:

Honestly.  We couldn't have staged these shots if we'd tried.  I love you, Boo.  I'm thankful for all we have in common, even though the photographic proof creeps me out.  : )  And I'm not even mad that you just bought a townhome, on your own, in the development Billy and I liked but couldn't afford.  I'm just so proud of you and thankful you're here.

Beautiful Weekend

This weekend we had beautiful, sunny, moderately warm weather, so we took advantage of the opportunity to get out of the house!  On Saturday, we took Nora to a local park that has a lot of play equipment and several types of farm animals.  She loved going down the slide and took watching the animals very seriously.

Last night we also got to see most of Billy's family at a party hosted by Billy's newly engaged cousin, Heather, and her fiance Jeremy.  It started after Nora's bedtime, so we had to do some schedule juggling, but she was mostly cheerful for the better part of two hours, which gave us a chance to visit with everyone.  (Though not a chance to take pictures, unfortunately, since I didn't take my phone.)  Maybe by next year she'll really be the life of the party!

Today we went down to a park along the Chesapeake Bay for a picnic and to wander around.  Nora loved running all over the place and she was tickled by how many dogs she saw there.  Each time we would happen upon another one, she would shout "HI!" and try to run over to it.  She was quite the hit in her sunglasses, and most of the dog walkers invited her to pet their dogs, so I think she found today's park visit even more fun than yesterday's.  When we took her out on the fishing pier, I was thankful it had safety cables because she did not want to be carried.  She wanted to run all around on her own!

I am so ready for spring!  Nora has been mobile for more than four months now, but since we've had to spend most of that time inside, it feels like we are just now getting to experience how much fun leisure time can be with a toddler.

... and now, back to grading papers.

Sisters' Night Out

Last week, Vickie and I went to see Mat Kearney in DC.  I only started listening to his music when Nate used "Hey Mama" as the backing track for the video he made with footage from his first visit to meet Nora, but Vickie has been a fan since high school and has gone to several of his shows.  I saw that he was going to be in town, so I thought it would be the perfect chance for a sisters' night out.  She made reservations for us to eat at Founding Farmers beforehand, and after our drinks arrived, I looked over her shoulder to discover that Mat Kearney was a few tables away!  I told her I was going to go say hello to him, and she first told me I was NOT allowed to do that.  When she said that her meeting him would be like me meeting Andy Roddick, however, my obligation as her older sister trumped anything she might say or do to keep me from bothering him. Obviously it was my responsibility to get a picture of the two of them.  He and his friends (who turned out to be his musicians) didn't have any food, so I just went up to him, explained that we were looking forward to his show, and asked if he would mind taking a picture with my sister.  She was really funny and I could tell she was freaking out a little, but I don't think he noticed.  He was really cool, chatted with us for several minutes, and seemed pleased to have the chance to meet some fans.  He also insisted that I pose in the picture, got his bassist to take it, re-arranged us so he would be in the middle, and requested we take a second picture with flash because it "is more flattering-- trust me."  Obviously I am totally awesome at meeting celebrities and don't make them feel awkward at all (in case you're reading, Andy Roddick.)

(Yes, we are wearing Oregon gear on purpose.  Mat is a fellow Oregon native.  Make fun of us all you want-- he complimented our attire.)

The show was awesome.  We were in the 10th row, right on the side aisle, so we could see and hear everything perfectly.  We had assigned seats and were home around 11, so it didn't even remind me that I am past my partying prime.  I had been listening to all of his CDs on repeat for a few weeks prior, so I knew all the songs, and he played all my favorite ones.  But best of all, it was so much fun to go with Vickie.  It made me realize that one of the things I've missed the most since Nora was born is adult conversation.  I love spending so much time with Nora, and I'm happy that people ask about her constantly because I like talking about her and telling people how she's doing.  But when she's with me, I have to keep at least half of my attention on her at all times, so that limits the types of conversations I can have with my friends and family members. Over the past year, Billy and I have gone on a few dates, but I've spent the rest of my time away from Nora trying to maximize the amount of work I could get done.  Getting the chance to do something with Vickie that she really enjoyed, and having the chance to give the conversation my full attention while we sat and talked, were definitely the best parts of the night (sorry, Mat).

So big thank yous are in order.  For Mat Kearney, who gave us a reason to go out and helped make the night memorable for both of us-- if you ever get the chance to see him live, you should definitely go.   But especially for Billy, who stayed home with Nora so that I could enjoy a completely worry-free night away.  As we headed from dinner to the show, I realized that I hadn't even felt the need to text Billy to make sure Nora had gone to bed okay.  She had, of course.  But this must be some major milestone, right?

Goodbye January// Go Ravens!

I have several blog posts in my mental queue that may never get written because we've had some very frequent but unwelcome visitors in our house during the month of January: germs.  Nothing knocks you completely out of the orbit of your regular routine like a sick baby or a sick mama, and it seemed like neither of us could really get well last month.  Nora recovered from a nasty cold just in time to travel to Oregon, where she caught the stomach virus that was in heavy rotation out there.  She handled it like a champ but passed it on to me just in time to miss our scheduled flight back home.  Billy came down with it literally minutes after arriving back home.  We were all feeling better in time for Nora to return to day care, where she promptly caught the stomach virus that has been going around our area, which featured the added bonus of a nasty fever!  Then she shared this one with me, as well.  As a result, it feels to me like the picture that best sums up our January is this one:

When you feel miserable and can't afford to venture more than 30 steps from your bathroom, it's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts.  I'm certainly guilty of feeling pretty sorry for myself this month, but in the midst of it all, I never lost sight of two things: 1) My dad felt like this for a good percentage of 5 years, and he got up every day and tried again, and 2) I am fortunate to have an excellent safety net that helps my family can recover quickly and fully.  So now that I can eat again, I'm feeling much more optimistic about the world, so I'd like to take a minute to focus on the positive and say how thankful I am for all of the following:
-a chubby baby whose health and attitude recover quickly
-a husband who does everything he can think of to step up, help out, and support us,
-a mom who happily took Nora off my hands for a whole day, took me to the hospital in the middle of the night, and helped get us on the plane,
-a sister, RN who responds to TMI texts with expert advice and offers of help at all hours of the day,
-the excellent health benefits we have through my husband's employer,
-IV fluids, anti-nausea medication, and kind ED staff members,
-in-laws who offer help and wish us speedy recoveries,
-an understanding professor and fellow-TA,
-day care teachers who helped Nora make a fairly smooth transition in the midst of all of it, and
-everyone else who sent me notes of various kinds to wish me well and see if there was anything they could do.

I can't say it enough: we are the luckiest.  As a small token of thanks, I wanted to share a few pictures I've been taking over the course of this week to catalogue Nora's pre-Super Bowl Ravens spirit.

Here's to a Ravens win tonight and a better February!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today's my dad's birthday.  He loved his birthday and he made a huge deal about it every year.  He would've been 60.

Billy and I went to see Louis CK in Baltimore on New Year's Eve.  It was a perfect evening.  The mexican restaurant we ate at beforehand had delicious food, powerful and interesting cocktails (habanero infused Patron is the real deal), and seven options for made-to-order fresh guacamole.  Billy didn't think he liked avocado until he tasted it.  Billy and I had a great time being out alone together.  And Louis was great.  I laughed so hard my face actually felt sore the next day.

Louis makes me laugh so hard because he speaks to me right where I'm at.  His willingness to face the darker aspects of life head-on is always undergirded by an overall appreciation for the human experience that conveys a sense of flickering yet persistent optimism.  That's how I feel most of the time, too-- especially these past few years.  At some point midway through the set, Louie was talking about how being 45 means he's not too old yet because people would still be surprised if he died.  He said the cut-off for death shock value is 60.  If you die before 60 people act like you've been robbed, and it's a tragedy that you don't get to know your grandkids, but if you're over 60 people are like "Well that's pretty sad, but, you know... nobody lives forever..."  I started crying, thinking about my dad and how he didn't get to see his grandkids.  This was serious, true sadness about the profound absence I feel in my life and my heart, but somehow I was laughing hysterically at the same time.  I was thinking to myself, I really lucked out that he died at 58.  He maxed out the amount of time he got to live and I still get to play the "my dad died too young" card.  Two more years and people would've been thinking, "He didn't get to meet your kids?  Well he *was* 60, maybe you should've had your baby a little younger."  As I type this, I fear it's not going to come across as funny, except maybe to my brother or sister.  But I could just imagine my dad and I laughing through a conversation about how he really got the best of both worlds by dying at 58, about how somehow that number means he lived a full life but still died too soon.  Well played, Dad.  Well played.

Happy Birthday, Dad.  We miss you so much.  I wish you could see us all now.  I wish you could hold Everett, and see Nora running around hugging and kissing everyone and everything, and have a drink with Nate and Ashley at their pub, and talk to Vickie about poop explosions and penis reconstructions, and talk to Billy about moving up the management ladder at work.  I can't begin to list all the things I wish I could talk to you about.  I wish I could've read what your Christmas letter would've had to say about me passing my comprehensive exam and everything else that our family has accomplished this year.

I can't have that conversation, though, so instead I watched Dad's farewell message slideshow again.  He says about me, "Lizzie would hustle around the soccer field, one of the most natural scoring machines we could find, but was always relegated to defending the opponent's best scorer because we knew she'd keep up and do the right thing."

Keep up and do the right thing.  I try every day, Dad.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

We hope that for all of our friends and family, Christmas day brings the culmination of the best things the season has to offer.  We feel fortunate that we're able to see both sides of Billy's family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and as Nora grows, we look forward to establishing our own family traditions. The happiness and family togetherness we enjoy at Christmastime also makes me even more aware of the sadness I feel about the absence of the family members who are no longer with us.  I miss my dad terribly, I wish I could be with my California family to endure our first Christmas together since losing Papa, and I'd like to be with my Oregon family to enjoy the arrival of baby Everett.  But since I can't, please know that I am thinking of you all, loving you from afar, and counting down the days until I get to see you again.

For our little family, Christmas is about family, tradition, and kindness to others-- but most of all it is about love.  Thank you for making us feel so loved at Christmastime and throughout the year.  I am who I am because of the people who love me, and I carry each of you in my heart and mind all the time.  Thank you for keeping up with me here in this space, for offering me your interest, support, and encouragement, and for wishing our family well in all the ways you do.

 

These two pictures, taken one year apart, help me to see that over the course of one year so much can change and yet so much can stay the same.  At 30 years old, I'm aware that I've lost more than I ever expected to lose by this age... but I've also gained so much more than I ever hoped to gain.  It is so wonderful to be human, especially at Christmastime, when our humanity is on display.

Welcome, Everett James!

My nephew Everett arrived Thursday!  He arrived on his scheduled due date, but not before putting his mom and dad through the childbirth ringer.  As I understand it, he was born about 38 hours after Ashley first started feeling contractions strong enough to keep her awake and about 17 hours after they arrived at the hospital.  You certainly wouldn't know it from this picture his proud papa took of mama and baby moments after the birth!

Everett James weighed 7 lbs 5 oz, is 20 1/2 oz long, and has quite a bit of cute blonde hair.  I have spent the past several days more thankful than ever for camera phone technology, which has allowed me to see for myself through plenty of pictures and two video chat sessions that Everett and his parents are all happy, healthy, and enjoying the chance to get to know one another.  I am so proud of Nate and Ashley for keeping calm throughout her extended labor and trust that this final "test" of pregnancy will serve them well as preparation for being parents of a newborn.  I suspect they needed this lesson less than I did, since they tend to "go with the flow" better than I do, and since Ashley has plenty of experience with littles.  But if they did need a reminder of how to manage stressful circumstances where you feel like everything is out of your control, and all you can do is wait until things change, they got a good one!

Selfishly, I am quite excited to have a new little baby in my life!  Seeing Everett's pictures and hearing about how he's doing gives me a chance to reminisce about when Nora was an itty bitty baby, and it is easy to be nostalgic about that time now that Nora sleeps 12 uninterrupted hours a night, makes nursing a soothing experience, goes down for naps instantly, can stay in the same clothes all day long, and is almost always pleasant and content.  : )  It will be so much fun to see and hear about Everett's development along the way.  I am also very excited to watch my brother continue to embrace being a dad.  It has been fun for me to see how Nate has grown, changed, and come into his own as Ashley's partner.  It's also been a pleasure to find out what a positive influence she is in his life and how they've learned to balance one another out to make such a strong, happy pair.  I can only imagine it will be even more enjoyable to see the ways baby Everett enhances their family and changes their outlooks on life.  Everett is so fortunate to have parents who are so loving and devoted to one another and to him.

I am also excited to find out what it's like to be an aunt.  I perceive my responsibilities to include offering all the support and encouragement I can while also withholding any and all "advice" unless it is specifically solicited.  I have more than one year of round-the-clock on-the-job training, so I know a lot of things now that I wish I'd known when I was in their shoes, but I think the best way for them to figure everything out on their own.  How things work for them and their little guy won't be the same as how things have worked for me, Billy, and Nora.  At the same time, Nate and Ashley, I hope you know you are not in this alone, that I'm more than happy to act as a sounding board for any questions or problems you might have, and we'd love to help if there's anything we can do to make the road easier for you.  I love you guys, and I love your little guy, and I can't wait to see you all in a few weeks!!

And now for the photos.  Here's the first picture I saw, with Nate holding Everett, where I could really make out his face.

When we woke up in the morning, Nate had posted this one of Everett's first bath.  I showed it to Nora after telling her that her cousin had been born while she slept.  She said "HIIIII!" and pointed at Everett's face.  When I asked her, "Do you see the baby?" she started saying "Bayybeee!  Bayyybeee!"

Later that day, we got a chance to video chat with the little guy and his parents.  Everett was even awake!

Mom was at the hospital when Everett was born and got to see him shortly after birth!

And here is a photobomb of other adorable pics!!

The only minor drawback of Everett's arrival is that it's really made me feel like Nora is not a baby anymore.  She's still a little thing, but she walks so well, has so much hair, and has a smile so full of teeth that she definitely seems like she's in a whole different category than her little cousin.  Oh well... time marches on!