Goodybe, 20s. It's been great knowing you.

Today is the last day of my 20s.  I guess this begs some reflection, considering how much apprehension people generally have about turning 30.  I don't dislike getting older because my life gets better every year. These days, I think it's common to feel like you spend your 20s figuring things out and trying to get to where you want to be, and then you get to spend your 30s enjoying where you are.  I certainly feel that way.  I generally prefer to avoid boasting in favor of letting my actions speak for themselves.  But I'm really proud of everything I accomplished in my 20s, and before bringing them to a close, it feels appropriate to take a minute to acknowledge how hard I've worked and how far I've come.

Far and away, the best thing I did in my 20s was seek out and cultivate relationships with the very best people.  I met, fell in love with, and committed to a man who is smart, funny, hardworking, and supportive.  I've never had to question his love or loyalty, and I have never given him a reason to doubt mine.  We created a spirited, resilient, curious baby girl whose mere existence brings smiles to our faces and joy to our hearts.  I come from a good family, and though I decided to move across the country and made some mistakes along the way, I have worked hard at maintaining positive relationships with my family members.  I get along with and actively enjoy the company of all of them, especially my mom, sister, and brother.  My dad died knowing how much I loved and appreciated him.  I also married into a good family.  I've worked hard at learning how to be a member of a family who does things differently than I'm used to and how to learn from what they have to teach me.   I've appreciated being embraced by them, and I hope they feel, as I do, that we're all better off for having been brought together.  And every step of the way-- college, teaching, and graduate school-- I've managed to find and befriend women who are smart, insightful, honest, and supportive.  I've tried to return the favor of their friendship by displaying the same qualities in return.  I've loved all these people with my whole heart and I've tried to put their needs ahead of my own when circumstances called for it.  I've worked on fostering open, honest, and productive communication with them.  I've tried to encourage them all to tell me when I'm being unreasonable and use honesty to help me become better than I am.  These relationships are the crowning achievements of my 20s.

So while I'm about to list my other proudest accomplishments from this decade, please know that these people I've mentioned above are the ones who've made everything else I've done possible, and they're the ones who've made all of these things feel worthwhile instead of empty.

Academically:
-Graduated from Valparaiso Summa Cum Laude.
-Convinced my professors and classmates that I belonged in graduate school even before I convinced myself.
-Completed my Master's Degree at the University of Maryland.
-Earned the departmental prize for best MA level paper.
-Was admitted to the UMd PhD program, with full funding, in a year when approximately 5% of qualified applicants were accepted.
-Completed a Critical Theory Certificate from the UMd Graduate School despite beginning graduate school with no idea how to describe what critical theory actually is.

Professionally:
-Earned the respect of my fellow teachers and administrators in the four years I spent as a high school teacher.
-Succeeded in convincing my students to give extra effort to their English studies, which I know because they made comments like "I think my brain will explode if I think any harder," they greeted me in the hallways with a smile, they came to me to talk about their lives, and they improved their test scores despite my refusal to "teach to the test."
-Gave countless extra hours of my time as Student Government advisor to enhance for my students the aspects of the high school experience that were the most meaningful to me.
-Was offered and accepted a graduate assistantship at UMd that paid me a stipend on top of complete tuition remission for my master's degree; brought a positive attitude to that job and did my best to be good at it, even though desk work was outside my comfort zone.
-Made the dedicated effort to serve my students as an instructor at UMd despite the vigorous demands of my own academic curriculum.

Personally:
-Lived within my financial means.
-Dedicated myself to giving back to my community through teaching and other charitable acts.
-Lived in Oregon, Indiana, and Maryland.
-Traveled to Ireland, Mexico, California, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.
-Attended and participated in the weddings of many friends, all of whom remain married.
-Took care of the things that needed taking care of following Dad's death.

Physically:
-Ran a marathon, a half marathon, several ten milers, and countless shorter races of various lengths; earned third place in my running club's yearlong championship series.
-Conceived, carried, delivered, and nursed a healthy baby girl.

Emotionally:
Learned a decade's worth of lessons, the most important among them including:
-Being right is less important than doing the right thing.
-As an educator, the most you can do is give your students the very best of yourself and your talents.  You have a responsibility to try to engage all of them, but once you've done that, you have to focus on the ones who want to learn from what you have to offer instead of dwelling on the ones who don't.
-The true value of a good education is not in the facts it teaches you, but in the way it teaches you how to learn, how to evaluate different pieces of information, and how to use the new knowledge you've acquired to improve your life and the lives of others.
-The only way to maintain a meaningful long-term relationship of any kind is through open and honest communication.
-Loving someone doesn't mean giving them what you want to give; it means doing the work to find out what they really need and figuring out how you can give it to them.
-If I dig deeper, I am always capable of a little bit more than I think.
-Through preparing and persisting, I can endure misfortune and be ready to capitalize on any good fortune that comes my way.
-I am at my best when I know when to ask for help.
-When you lose someone you love, one way to move on is to keep the best parts of the past close to your heart as you continue to look forward to the future.
-Some aches may never go away.  And you may not want them to.
-What's right for me is not necessarily right for everyone else, and I have no right to try to dictate how other people choose to live their lives.
-If you can't or don't acknowledge the position of privilege in which you sit, it's difficult to give anything meaningful back to your community.
-You should only compare what you have to what someone else has if you're looking to make sure the other person has enough.
-If you treat others with fairness and respect, most of them will give it back to you, and the ones who don't will not have the power to get you down.
-It is wise to be emotionally, intellectually, professionally, and financially generous. It makes you feel good to give with no strings attached, and people remember the things you do for them.
-If you don't like the way things are going, it's up to you to make some changes.
-There is always so much more to learn.

With all that said and done, I'm excited to start another decade.  It might seem hard to imagine that my 30s could top my 20s, but when I look at the people I have around me these days, it's hard to imagine they won't.

Congratulations, Mama M.A.!

When you are married, live in the suburbs, commute to graduate school, work to fund your studies, and especially when you have a child, friendships look different than they did when your friends lived or worked in the house, dorm room, or classroom around the corner.  These days I try to interact with my friends "in real life" whenever I can, but those moments tend to be fewer and farther between than I'd like.  In the meantime, the foundations of my friendships are maintained mostly online via blog posts, facebook posts, and emails.

So today, I'd like to use my own corner of the internet to offer a hearty CONGRATULATIONS! to my friend and classmate Catherine, who successfully defended her master's thesis yesterday.  Like Catherine, I completed my master's degree while holding a graduate assistantship, and I seriously doubt whether I could have done this while also rearing two delightful little girls, as she has done.

Catherine, thank you for helping me to imagine otherwise in a field where doing serious work and committing yourself to your family are often seen as mutually exclusive acts.  Your encouragement, support, and example have provided me with so much peace of mind over the past few rollercoaster semesters.  Thank you for reminding me to take my time and for reassuring me by showing me that another smart, thoughtful, and caring person shares my priorities.  I'm so thrilled to see you reach this major goal and can't wait to see what you take on next, even if I have to watch it unfold online.

And Nora says congratulations, too. : )

Focusing on the Positive

Our developing little sleeper has experienced some setbacks in the past week-- both in regards to napping and night sleep.  This complicates the already tough questions we've been facing-- when should we stop swaddling her?  When should we move her into the crib?  Her increasingly weary parents are working on developing a plan in hopes that we can implement it before we get too exhausted.

In the meantime, though, I thought I'd share a couple of short clips that show her developing skills.  She's only been content laying on the floor by herself for a month, but she's already reaching for and grabbing toys and holding her head up much higher when she's on her belly!  As you'll see, she works hardest at developing new skills in the morning.  : )






Update: Our pediatrician thinks she's teething!

Hello, 2012!

In A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens writes "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  I can't think of any better way to sum up my 2011, which included both the best and the worst moments of my entire life.

Happy New Year, from our family to yours!  Personally, I'm hoping for a little more stability this year.  I've had more than enough "excitement" to last me for quite a while.  I hope the new year finds you in good spirits and brings you what you need most.

Pattern mixing and on-trend footwear before she's even 3 months old... look out, world. :)

Our Sister (Killjoy)

This morning, I woke up early to get some reading done before we head to the Navy football game.  I opened up Ama Ata Aidoo's Our Sister Killjoy, and it begins with this: "Things are working out/ towards their dazzling conclusions."  This reminded me that I texted Vickie last night to find out the results of her NCLEX, which she took on Friday, but she texted back that she'd have to tell me later when she got home because she hadn't seen the results yet.

So I went to check my phone, to find out, SHE PASSED!!!  On her first try!  Not that I ever actually doubted she would pass.  But still.  Now she's officially Victoria Chambers, RN!

This calls for some celebration!

Dazzling conclusions, indeed!  (That was worth watching again, no?)

Are You My Mother?

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

I know a lot of kids say their parents taught them they "could do anything they wanted to do," but my mom has really always believed I would be successful at anything I tried.   Even better, she thinks everything I want to do is a great idea!  "Oh cool," she says, any time I tell her what I'm working on.  Thanks, mom, for building in me the confidence to believe that my ideas are good and that I can make them happen for myself.

Happy Mother's Day, too, to all my other favorite mothers and mothers-to-be!

Jacelyn with Cash, Beth with Josh, Jolene with Mason, Krista with Clara, Patti with Billy, and Tina with baby-to-be.

As for me, I've got to deliver this paper in just under a week, so I must get back to work! : )

(Are You My Mother? is another children's book by P.D. Eastman that we grew up reading in my house.)

Hard Times

The news coming in this week has ranged from anxiety-inducing to downright tragic. But I refuse to despair. Through it all, I choose hope-- Hope in humankind and the power of the individual will to do good.

I got my seminar paper/writing sample back from my professor, who as the director of the graduate program, plays a large role in whether I get into the PhD program. She was encouraging about my plan to use it for my capstone Master's project, but critical of its organization. I get to the point around page 9, she says. For a few days I felt like the hammer had fallen on my entire application. When I met with her, though, she told me, "This is good work, Liz. This is when revision really begins. Everything before was just drafting." This woman has command of so many complicated theoretical concepts that when she speaks in short, declarative sentences, the point hits home. It's good work. Maybe good enough to get me into the program. If not, still work I can be proud of.

Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids. He says he used them only to help himself recover from injuries, and that he wishes he had never played in the "steroid era." What a coward. I thought Jason Giambi's non-admission apology was as bad as it could get (particularly for those of us who are A's fans), but at least he didn't seem delusional. The good news, though, is that nobody is quite satisfied with McGwire's "admission." Everyone points out that he took too long to tell the "truth." And that he is possibly more responsible than anyone else for creating this "steroid era" that he laments. I think this means that baseball continues to head in the right direction. While many in baseball are skeptical about his intentions, several important people have shown him grace. Although Tony LaRussa was made to look like a fool for defending him, LaRussa is still keeping him on staff. The Maris Family and Hank Aaron say they have forgiven him. Maybe the generosity of these individuals will help him learn how to become a grown man who stops making excuses for himself.

Both of these pale in comparison, however, to the heartbreaking images that are coming out of Haiti in the aftermath of Tuesday's earthquake. It's really difficult, almost impossible, for me to watch. These are people whose everyday lives were difficult enough before all the walls came down. I'm deeply encouraged, though, that in this time of great need, all kinds of people are coming together to help. It's finally as easy to donate money to help the victims of a tragedy as it is to cast your vote for American Idol. That campaign has already raised over $10 million. The people of the Dominican Republic immediately came to the Haitians' aid despite the long-standing tensions between those countries. On the eve of the Australian Open, the world's top tennis players set aside their preparation routines to organize an exhibition match and are donating all of the proceeds to the victims of the earthquake.

I believe that humans are fundamentally good creatures, and that it is in our nature to want to make life good for ourselves and others. This belief is sometimes hard to maintain in a world where there is so much publicity given to the division between religions, countries, and politicians. I am thankful that humankind has shown, in the wake of this natural disaster, that humans still can set all of those issues aside, come together, and just plain try to help.

(Hard Times is Charles Dickens's shortest novel and among his, my favorite. As one who agrees that we reap what we sow, I can't help but be drawn to a text split into three sections titled "Sowing," "Reaping," and "Garnering.")

Just Keep Playing

I'll be honest: it has not been the best week for my family. My dad learned that the tumors have returned to his liver, so we await the doctor's recommendation about which course of action to take for the next series of treatments. Pop was in the hospital for three days after becoming extremely disoriented on some new medication.

But, as Dad likes to say, there is nothing we can do except "Just Keep Playing." Dad still feels good and has enjoyed a chemotherapy-free summer. A friend of his points out the positives of having a medical team that is able to identify abnormalities before they begin to impact his liver function. Pop was discharged from the hospital yesterday and able to spend the night at home again. Despite the doctor's initial concern, he does not have pneumonia.

I've resumed training for my 10 miler. My hamstring injury has not gone away, but the farther I run, the less it seems to bother me, so I've decided to devote some extra time to stretching and just run through it. This morning's 8 miler felt better than my distance runs have in weeks. It's the final weekend before my semester stars, and since I got my pre-class reading assignments finished early, I have given myself a break from all things academic until Monday morning. Tomorrow we head to Oriole Park to celebrate the last day of summer with the boys of summer and $1 hot dogs and sodas. On Thursday I received a large, fragrant bouquet of flowers with a note from the florist apologizing that they were not delivered on the 7th (thanks Dad!). Vickie is living in the same apartment building I did senior year, and she informs me that they started off the year with a successful keg party. The US Open begins on Monday. Things could certainly be much worse.

26: A Look Back

Today's final, Roddick vs. del Potro, concluded a great week at the Legg Mason Tennis Classic. If Andy had won, it would have been perfect, but he lost 6-8 in the 3rd set tiebreak, making the week almost perfect. Really, there couldn't be a more fitting end to my 26th year.

This year has been not quite perfect. I wish my dad's tumors had not returned. I wish neither Patti nor Chuck had needed surgery. I wish Pop could eat a milkshake or drink a beer. I wish my brother (and so many others) hadn't been faced with difficult decisions as a result of our slumping economy.

But those things aside, age 26 has been an almost perfect one for me. And since I try to focus on the positive, I thought I'd use my pre-birth day to recall the best things about this year.

Billy and I enjoyed year 2 of marriage. Every day I come home to my best friend and the life we're making together. It makes everything else better.

My dad has endured and overcome another obstacle in his battle against cancer, and for the past several months, he has felt healthy. Billy and I got to enjoy a week with him in New York to celebrate.

After interviewing all last summer for graduate assistant positions on campus, I was finally offered the one that was the best fit for me. Not only is it a position in my own department, but I get to work with people I genuinely like.

My return to graduate school has been more challenging and more rewarding than I expected. I knew it would be intellectually stimulating, but I could not have anticipated that my classmates would be so interesting or that my professors would be so invested in helping me succeed. I love my program and am hoping they'll let me stick around a few more years.

In the program, I found another pea to go in my pod. I don't know why I'm fortunate enough to find a kindred spirit every time I start a new adventure, but having Anne-Marie along for the ride has made it even more fun.

The other peas in my pod also had great years. Danielle, Erin, and I enjoyed regular Sunday breakfasts and movie nights in the year leading up to Erin's wedding to Brent. Krista and Jordan had an adorable, healthy, happy baby girl and I get to see pictures of little Clara regularly. Kelsey returned from her stint in the Peace Corps in Ukraine and was accepted into the occupational therapy program at the University of Washington. I believe Vickie is involved in every extracurricular activity available to students at VU, and yet she maintains an interest in nursing and an excellent academic record.

Speaking of Vickie, she, Billy, Nate, and I got to celebrate her 21st in Vegas. An epic siblings weekend I'll never forget.

I got back into shape and ran a half marathon for a good cause. My friends and family members generously donated over $2000 (more than twice my goal!) to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

I've kept up with my running. I've found that it clears my head and helps me stay focused on all the other things I'm juggling. I love the ongoing competition with myself to improve and have continued competing in middle distance races about once a month.

I've enjoyed another year in the company of my in-laws. Baby Cash has added even more laughter and fun to our family get-togethers!

I got to unwind from a very hectic semester with a visit from Mom. It was great to welcome her into our home for the first time since we have been really settled and to spend some time showing her what our lives are like here.

I feel like I've been so fortunate this year that I'm not sure how age 27 can top age 26. There are several things coming up that are worth looking forward to, though: Billy finishing his master's degree, visiting my California relatives over the winter holidays, and graduating from my own master's program.

I know it is because I have such a great support system of family and friends that I am able to accomplish so many of the things that are important to me. Thanks, guys, for helping me find my way.

Update about Dad!

Just wanted to let everyone know that my dad got great news from his oncologist today. After two months without chemotherapy treatments, his diagnostic scans show that none of the tumors in his liver are continuing to grow, and some of them have continued to shrink. What is left are evidently "residual" cancer cells, which are no longer actively reproducing. His oncologist considers him to have entered "clinical remission." He will go back in 60 days for a full body PET scan to make sure the cancer cells haven't popped up elsewhere, and will continue to get diagnostic tests regularly, but at this time, it appears that no further treatment is necessary!

Thanks, as always, to all those of you who have continued to keep Dad and the rest of our family in your thoughts. He feels great and is excited to report that everyone can stop worrying about him and focus on other things!

The type of treatment that has been successful for my dad this time has only become available in recent years. Advancements in the battle against cancer are continually being made by the tireless efforts of scientists and doctors who are committed to finding innovative ways to save lives. I am hopeful that generous donations so many of you made to the LAF in support of my half marathon will help to encourage those struggling with cancer and to discover new ways to cure this disease.

Weekend Update!

Fundraising Goal Accomplished!

Thanks to my dad's generous donation and another one from a kind anonymous, I have reached my fundraising goal! When I set $1000 as my goal, I had no idea how giving you all were going to be. I thought it would take $20 and $25 donations from quite a few of my friends and family to make it to the thousand dollar mark; I have been very pleasantly surprised by the number of donations so far as well as the generosity of those who've donated.

I hope those among you who have not yet donated will continue to consider it. Any amount you are comfortable contributing will be greatly appreciated by me, my dad, and those cancer survivors and family members that the Lance Armstrong Foundation supports. Donations can be made by visiting my fundraising website.

Winter Weather

Billy has been hoping for one good winter storm this season; I have been hoping the sun will come out and allow me to leave my coat home in the closet. I despise a forecast like this as much as Billy loves it. I can't deny that the timing is good, however; he can hope for one last chance at a decent storm while I take a bit of a break and rest my body before entering the final few weeks of my training regimen.

National Marathon News

This morning I visited the website for the National Marathon for the first time since I qualified and registered, and I discovered that the Half Marathon portion has sold out! Thank goodness I qualified in time!

The National Marathon encourages you to "share your story" with their communications director. The website says "your story may even be part of the television race day coverage." I submitted my story after I registered for the race, and I haven't heard anything back, but maybe they will still get in touch with me. I thought that since I don't have any training info to post today, I'd "share my story" here instead:

While running the National Half Marathon, my strides will take me exactly 13.1 miles. But I'm running the race because of more significant distances and vastly more important strides. In 2004, I graduated from college and left my home in Oregon to move east to start a new life in Maryland. I never even thought twice about it.

In the winter of 2005/2006, I felt every one of the 2,800 miles that separated me from my father when he was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 53. I was a year and a half into my career as a public high school teacher, so I couldn't afford the time or money it would cost to drop everything and go home for my dad's surgery. His doctor was able to remove all the cancerous tissue, and my friends who still lived back home went to visit him in the hospital. This helped to assuage some of my guilt about not being there, but the feeling lingered. All spring and summer, my dad endured chemotherapy sessions every other week to ensure that the cancer would never return. When he finished his chemo regimen, his doctor suggested that there was a 90% chance he would remain cancer-free.

Cancer brought me closer to my dad. After his diagnosis, we spent more time talking on the phone than we ever had previously. In the summer of 2007, my dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to the man for whom I moved to Maryland in the first place. He couldn't have been more happy or more proud of my husband and me when we began our new life as a married couple. My dad was excited to see the house we had just purchased and hear our plans to redecorate it. He seemed to be a picture of health at my wedding; we had no way of knowing the tumors were again growing inside him.

In October 2007, my dad called to break the bad news. One of his routine scans revealed that he had three tumors in his liver. For the past year and a half, my dad has been undergoing different chemotherapy treatments of various degrees. Every time it seems that the chemo has done its job, and he gets a short break from the treatments, the tumors reappear. Over the holidays, he told us that if this round of chemotherapy treatments is not successful, he will have about 40% of his liver removed. This will make him unable to work and force him to dramatically change his diet.

Meanwhile, I'm still all those 2,800 miles away. We continue to make it a point to talk to each other regularly on the phone, and we get to see one another in person several times a year. But I've never been there to sit with my dad through a chemotherapy session. I've never been home to help him recover from a treatment. I've never been along to hear the latest prognosis from the doctor. When my dad gets discouraging news, he not only has to figure out how to cope with it himself, he has to call me and rehash all the difficult details so that I'm aware of what's going on. Through all of this, his hope and determination have never wavered. He believes strongly in the message of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which says that "Unity is strength. Knowledge is power. Attitude is everything."

This winter, I got tired of feeling helpless. I refused to believe that there was nothing I could do. I tried to figure out what I could do to help my dad, and I decided that I had to run the National Half Marathon. He coached all of my athletic teams throughout my childhood, and when I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2003, he flew into town to cheer me on. I knew he would be proud of me for putting the running shoes back on. I've also chosen to participate in the race to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. This will give my family and friends the chance to feel like they, too, are doing something more than just sitting around, waiting for the results of my dad's next scan. The LAF provides support for those who have just been diagnosed with cancer, those who are battling the disease, and those who are surviving it. My dad and I have always had great support from our family and friends. Through raising money for the LAF, I hope the members of our support system will be able to provide support for others who are not so lucky.

The 13.1 miles of the National Half Marathon seem short in comparison to the 2,800 miles between me and my dad. I hope, however, that running this race will help me feel like I'm bridging that gap. The strides I am taking to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation through the support of my family and friends will help others continue living meaningful lives long after they are first diagnosed with cancer.

With every stride I take, every mile I cover, and every dollar I raise, I am saying I will not let cancer rule my life. I will not let the disease make me feel helpless. I will channel my anger and fear into making a positive change in the world. I will support my dad's determination to fight for his life. I will help the thousands of people across the country and throughout the world that battle this disease every day.

Improvement!

Today's Run:

Distance: 3 miles

Time: 38:00

Pace: 12:37 per mile

Today, I finally made some progress!

National Half Marathon

Today's Run:
Distance: 5k
Time: 43:46
Pace: 8:42 per km
Sentiment: I have a long way to go before I'm back in shape. I think I'd lose in a foot race to the Biggest Loser contestants.

My dad is battling cancer. He is often frustrated because there is so little he can do. In our family, we struggle under circumstances that we can't control.

I live on the opposite coast from Dad, so it feels like there is even less that I can do. I continue to feel like there has to be something I could do about Dad's illness.

So I have decided to do the following:

1) I will qualify for the National Half-Marathon.

2) If I qualify in time to register, I will raise at least $1000 in my dad's name for the Lance Armstrong Foundation as part of the LAF Grassroots Fundraising Program.

3) I will complete the National Half-Marathon through Washington, D.C. on March 21, 2009.

4) I'll keep my dad, and whomever else is interested enough to follow along, updated about my progress through this blog.

There are a few obstacles. I have not yet qualified for the National Half Marathon, and I can't register until I do. My 2003 Chicago Marathon time would have qualified me if I could have finished it 11 minutes faster. My half marathon split would have qualified me, but they do not keep an official record of split times. I ran a 5k in preparation for that marathon that surely would have qualified me, but that race does not keep official results. I ran another 5k in 2004, but I missed the qualifying time by 1 minute 22 seconds.

So, the first goal is to qualify for the half-marathon by completing a "Super Bowl Sunday" 5k on February 1 in under 31:00. This is a 10 minute mile pace. Considering how long if took me to finish 5k this morning, this feels a little ambitious, but I'm determined. If I can't qualify on February 1, there is another qualifying race on March 1, at which point I will surely be able to come in under 31:00.

Hopefully, the National Half-Marathon will not fill up before I can qualify! The website says they will advertise when there are only 1,000 of the 8,000 spots remaining. Last year, they only had 4,000 finishers... so I hope my chances are good.