Just Me and My Dad

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

My local running club holds a father's day 10k every year.  I really like this idea, because running reminds me of my dad.  When my dad was my age, he ran, too, until his doctor told him he had to stop.  When I was 14 and trying out for the WLHS soccer team, and I was required to run 2 miles as part of the try out, he helped me run 2 miles in 16 minutes as part of my training.  (That's still the fastest 2 miles I've ever run, I believe.)  When I was 21, my dad flew to Chicago to see me run in the Chicago Marathon.  Last year, I decided that running a half marathon to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation was the best way I could honor my dad's fight with cancer, and I've been running ever since.  In last year's Father's Day 10k, I ran my best 10k time with the best race pace I've run in any race, ever.  I was extra excited for this year's race because Billy's parents, Patti and Chuck, were planning to come cheer me on.

This morning, I ran my worst race ever-- no exaggeration.  It was around 80 degrees with high humidity at race time.  I was doing well through mile 4 (of 6.2) and then I bonked.  During mile 5, I thought I was going to throw up.  During mile 6, I thought I was going to have to stop to walk.  But the signs they had placed up along the course kept reminding me it was father's day, so I thought about what my dad would have said: just keep going until you can't go anymore.  And I found that I could keep going until I crossed the finish line, even though my time was about 6 or 7 minutes slower than last year's PR, even though I lost my most recent cup of water after I stopped.  Oops.  

I know what my dad would have said then, too.  "Are you okay?" followed by "at least you finished hard."  That's what my dad has taught me my whole life, and continues to teach me in his own battle with cancer: accept the challenge, remain determined, and finish as hard as you can.  That way, even if the  results you achieve are not necessarily what you had hoped for, you know you've given it your best shot.

Thanks, Dad.

(Just Me and My Dad is a children's book from the Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer.  I loved these books when I was a kid, and I couldn't choose any title from "classic literature," because for a multitude of reasons, "father" seems to be a bad word among writers.)

The Big Lebowski

My dad had his latest round of diagnostic tests this week.  He found out that the tumors in his liver are essentially the same size they were in November, before he underwent an invasive radiation treatment to try to kill them.  The fact that the tumors are not larger than they were then indicates the treatment may have helped.  The fact that they're not gone or even significantly smaller indicates that the treatment didn't "fix" the problem.  My dad has decided to work through April and then go on extended medical leave so he can focus on feeling healthy instead of work.  He works for a company that gives him great benefits and he feels very fortunate about the medical leave options that are available to him.

Since he is going to be away from work for a while, he is starting to plan out his next year of vacations, so he called the next day to tell me that he is planning to take me and Billy to the Australian Open in Melbourne in January 2011.  He and my mom went to Australia when Nate and I were young, we had an Australian exchange student living with us for a year when I was born, and I think he has always wanted to go back.  I cannot help from talking every year about how watching the AO is almost painful because I'm so excited that tennis is back, the people there look so happy, and their summer weather is so beautiful that it makes our winter doldrums seem almost unbearable.  Earlier this year I called it a "two week mental oasis" from my regular life.

With six years of post-secondary study of literature and language under my belt, the best I can think to say in response to two these two events of the past week is (to quote the Dude from The Big Lebowski, and more recently, Jeff Bridges himself)

"Strikes and gutters, man."

Post Script: It occurred to me when I went running after posting this that "Strikes and Gutters" is also the name Nate gave to his blog, which he hasn't updated in a year, but is worth a return visit nonetheless.

The Year(s)

Today they held the National Half Marathon in Washington, D.C.  This means it has been one year since I ran the race to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation!  (Read about that here).  It's nice to think about what the LAF might have been able to accomplish in that year with the money you donated in support of my race.  Thanks again for your generosity!

On my 7 mile run today, I was thinking about how I could have quit running again a year ago, and trying to figure out why I didn't.  I think the thing I like about distance running is that no matter how miserable the last few miles are, the finish line is pre-determined.  If you can make yourself more miserable by trying to run faster, you'll be rewarded by reaching the finish line sooner.  Then comes the feeling of gratification and the relief of gulping down water-- every single time.  Life's not like that.  Not even in books.

Today it occurred to me on my run that determination is like anything else-- it can get horribly out of shape if you don't exercise it.  Running distances has helped me keep my determination in shape this past year.  Forcing myself through the burning lungs and sore feet to reach the finish line has helped me to endure the difficult moments when I didn't know quite where the finish line was going to be, and it taught me that chasing down mile markers is a good way to make a distant finish line seem closer.

The little victories help, too.  Today I shaved 4 minutes off the time it took me to run 7 miles last weekend.  Part of that was because I ran in the pouring down rain last weekend, and the water was ankle deep on some sections of the trail  (today it was sunny and almost 70).  But mostly it was because I was trying to run faster-- because I knew when I got back I had to tackle this writing project again, for the sixth straight day in a row, and I knew the feeling of gratification from posting a good time would help carry me through.

(The Years is the last book Virginia Woolf published in her lifetime.  Though it spans around 50 years and 3 generations, she focuses on individual events that happen in the characters' lives.  For me, she might have zeroed in on a random 7 mile run on the most beautiful day of the year yet.)

Commit to Fight Cancer

Lance Armstrong says:

I returned to cycling this year for one reason: to fight for the 28 million people affected by cancer worldwide.

We are making tremendous progress in this fight, but there’s still so much to be done. By next year cancer will be the #1 killer in the world and yet most of the world’s leaders lack any real plan to fight back.

During my 20-day ride in the Tour I'm calling on leaders around the world to make major commitments to fight cancer worldwide – but I can’t do it alone.

As a first step, will you join me and sign the World Cancer Declaration – a major global push to pressure the world's leaders to act now on cancer?

If you're interested in signing the World Cancer Declaration, please visit this website.

Half Marathon Rundown!!

I completed the National Half Marathon! Rather than trying to give a blow-by-blow description of the race, I’ll describe a few of the more memorable details.


I finished the race in 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 29 seconds (which put me in 3,453rd place). I had been hoping to finish under 2:15 and was determined to finish under 2:30, and I was able to run the whole way without stopping to walk, so I am pretty happy with my time. I thought I was completely exhausted in the final mile, but when I saw that finish line, I was able to sprint the rest of the way in. I guess we always have a little bit more inside us than we realize.


I crossed the finish line right next to a very athletic looking man running at my sprint pace… but he was finishing the complete marathon in that time. It’s not even human how fast these people can run.

We were 15 minutes away from home when I realized we had to turn back because I didn’t have my bib or my timing chip. This meant I was standing in line for the port-a-potty when the starting gun went off. Luckily, I was able to use the facilities and join the large crowd of runners who were still making their way to the starting line without any real delay.

Billy and I had mapped out a “spectators course” for him to get from place to place on the metro, so he was able to see me off at the start, cheer me on at mile 3.5 and mile 7, and watch me cross the finish line. My friends Erin and Danielle also came out to cheer me on, and although a slow train kept them from seeing me until the finish line, I was so excited to see all three of my fans after I finished!


It was pretty cold, but not too bad once I got running. I wish I’d brought my gloves, but otherwise, it was good weather- and sunny!

For motivation, I wrote the names of each person who made a donation on livestrong bracelets- it took 5 to fit all your names! I frequently looked down and spun the bands around to remind myself how many people had made sacrifices to support me. Around mile 10, when my legs got heavy, I started naming in my head one person who had encouraged me during each stride. I made a lot of strides before I ran out of supporters, and I think it helped me speed up! Thanks to all of you for being there with me every step of the way!


There were a lot of fun spectators along the way, some of them with really funny signs. They said things like, “Toenails are for wimps,” “Your feet only hurt from kicking so much ass,” “You run like a girl… and we like it!” and “Go mom! You’re awesome!” (colored and held by a little girl about 7 years old). Two guys were standing next to each other with signs that said something like “I might take up running” and “if it means I can stare at your ass.” There was a group of young city-dwellers with a table set up on the street and cups of “FREE BEER!” that they were passing out to the runners. A group of high-school age kids were blaring rap on a car stereo, dancing around, giving high fives to the runners, and yelling things like “You go girl! Get it!”

I saw one girl fall down (out of the race at mile one- ouch!), one man throw up (about a half mile after the free beer- coincidence?), and one woman fall off a bicycle while watching the runners. Not too bad, all things considered.

The race had about 7,000 participants total, which they said was twice as many as last year. This means they underestimated the number of cups they would need, so by the third water station, the only option I had was to drink water straight out of the jug. After passing on this the first time, I chose hydration over sanitation.


My body held up fairly well. I taped my feet and ankles, so they didn’t give me any trouble. My knees were starting to get sore by the end, but not sore enough to slow me down. Apparently Billy told the girls, “she will finish even if she’s running on bloody nubs.” Thankfully, it did not come to that! I’m a little worried about the soreness I’ll encounter tomorrow, though, because it’s already obvious that my ‘running muscles’ are extra tight as a result of not having run for a week and a half.

Ladies of DC, if you are single and looking for a man, I would advise getting involved in the running scene. There were a lot of fit, eligible looking men participating in the race, but the place to meet them is at the Fitness Expo the day before.

The route afforded the best view of the Capitol building. We ran right by it at the start, and then toward the end we ran straight toward it for over a mile. I also ran right by the Washington Monument, which Billy was able to capture in a picture. I forgot to look to my right to see the White House, but we continued all the way down to the Lincoln Memorial before the route turned north.


During the mile that I was running straight toward the Capitol, I was really tired, but right then the Livestrong song, “Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow,” came on my iPod. It reminded me why I was there, and for the duration of the song, I felt like I was caught inside some kind of inspirational music video. I started to get a little bit choked up, but luckily that feeling passed, because it’s hard to breath when you’re crying. : )

Right now, my donation total is $2175, or $166.03 per mile I ran today!! I can still accept donations up until a month after my event, so if you had hoped to donate but haven’t gotten the chance yet, please visit my fundraising page!

Thank you all for coming along on the journey with me. It has meant a lot to me, and my dad, and the rest of our family, that so many people have been so supportive. I said at the start of this that I wanted to find a way to channel my frustration about Dad’s diagnosis into a positive outlet, and thanks to everyone’s donations, the support you’ve given me will go directly toward supporting others whose lives have been impacted by cancer.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to go up and down the stairs tomorrow, and I’m sure that the maneuver of sitting down will be nearly impossible. But as “Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow,” says, I’m staring down the unknown, but one thing is certain; you could break my body, but you will never break my soul.

Training Complete!

Today's Walk:

Distance: 2.26 miles

Time: 31:01

Pace: 13:42 per mile

I was tempted to run today because my feet, ankles, and knees were all pain free! I didn't want to have any soreness leading into Saturday's race, though, so I followed my training program and stuck with a walk for my final day of training. It felt good to be out on the road again, and I can't wait until I can actually run again on Saturday.

I can't believe how close the race is... finally! Tomorrow, I go to the Runner's Expo to pick up my t-shirt, timing chip, bib, etc, and then Saturday morning we're up bright and early to go to the race! It starts at 7am, so it will be an early morning at the DePriest house, and hopefully I will be able to get a few hours of good sleep in before the alarm goes off. The forecast for Saturday is looking good; it's supposed to sunny with a high in the 50s, although it will likely be cooler than that when I run in the morning. As long as it doesn't rain, I will be happy.

I looked up pictures of last years' race on Flickr to investigate the no-headphones rule. Quite a few people in the pictures were wearing headphones, so it doesn't look like the rule is enforced. It seems like the race organizers might be required to forbid headphones for safety reasons, but that they don't actually enforce the rules. Since the race is run on a closed course, my plan is to wear the headphones until I'm asked to remove them.

If you have been considering making a donation, please try to do so before my race! I have been so encouraged by how generous everyone has been, and I you will all be in my thoughts as I'm plodding through my 13.1 miles. I am afraid that since I haven't actually run in quite a few days, I will need all the extra encouragement and determination I can get!

Donations Update:

Thanks so much Aunt Carrie! I wish you could be here for the race, but I know you will be here in spirit! I am excited that your donation will go to helping someone else since your encouragement has already done so much to help me.

Almost There!

Today's Workout:

Supposed to be: 8 miles

Instead:

40 minutes elliptical/stairstepper combo machine (I had to listen to a longer lesson about it today)

40 minutes stationary bike

My cartoon is starting to talk trash. She appears to think I am slacking off just because I haven't logged a run in a week. She is playing paddle ball and saying things like, "I wish I could run, but my hands are tied" and "If only I practiced running like I practice paddle ball." She even calls me a couch potato! I am working out, I promise! It is funny how for months and months, I loathed the idea of going for a run even though I was perfectly capable of doing so, and now that I've imposed a restriction on myself until race day, all I want to do is go for a run! I hope some of that excitement about finally being on the road again for the race will help counteract any loss of fitness I'm encountering as a result of my training changes.

The race is only a few days away! I am reaching a state of nervous excitement. I am worried about being able to run all 13 miles since I haven't run in a week, but I am really looking forward to participating in the race. We were in DC with Vickie and Brett this past weekend, so I got a look at the road I'll be running on past the Capitol, Washington Monument, and White House. I wish the route was reversed so that I could pass those things at the end of the race instead of the beginning, but I am sure there will be plenty to look at for the duration of the race. Right now, the forecast is favorable, and I am hoping to avoid a rainy day.

Donations Update:

Thanks Heather! I appreciate your donation and the fact that you ask my dad how he's doing each time you see me. I am looking forward to running in the Frederick Team Marathon with you in a few weeks!

Thank you Gramma! I got your check in the mail today and am looking forward to passing it along to the foundation.

One Week to Go!

Only one week until I take my cause to DC!

Monday's Run:

Distance: 3.57 miles

Time: 37:45

Pace: 10:34 per mile

Monday's run did not go well. My ankles were sore from Saturday's 12 miler, and I realized about halfway through that I should have given them an extra day of rest. Tuesday and Wednesday, my left ankle was sore and swollen. I continued icing it and decided I needed to figure out a way to give it a break before next week's race but still stay in shape. Luckily, the gym around the corner from our house offers a free week trial.

Thursday's Workout:

Bike: 30 minutes, 7 miles

Elliptical-like contraption: 20 minutes, 1.5 miles

Thursday I read about surveillance and terror for my theory colloquium class. I was learning about how I have something called a "data double" that could be constructed based on all the bits of information floating out in the world that someone who never met me could use to construct my identity. This blog would obviously provide quite a bit of information, as would my facebook page, and my bank account (which records every transaction Billy and I make to the web). Internet activity, medical records, telephone records, credit card history, bill payments- all of that is recorded out there. It's supposed to be "private," but someone could use it to construct a large percentage of the things I "do" on a daily basis, and I have no way of ensuring that it's all accurate. Thinking about all this, in addition to the times you walk into a place like 7-11 and your likeness is captured on surveillance video, or how practically anyone could capture your image on the street at any time with a camera phone, is enough to make anyone feel like Britney Spears for a minute.

So, I was thinking about all of this as I walked into the gym-around-the-corner, and I had a classmate's paper (about how surveillance can be used to terrorize) in hand. The first thing the woman working there tells me? "Our gym is under 24 hour surveillance." Cue the twilight zone music. Anyhow, I looked around, and I think I was the only one reading a paper based on an argument made by Foucault. One woman was reading The Last Lecture, though, so that reminded me why I was there. The workout was fine, although boring, and my ankle feels much better today. I'm busy all day Saturday with Billy, Vickie, and Brett, so I can't get in my 8 miles, and this gym is closed to non-members on Sundays, so I am not yet sure how I'm going to substitute that workout, but we will see how I'm feeling. I'm starting to get excited for the race! I got a notification that I'm in starting corral number 7-- a number close to my heart besides being lucky.

Related News:

Congratulations are due for my Aunt Carrie! When I announced this plan a few months ago, she had been running to get in shape for a ski trip. She decided to continue and try to qualify for the half marathon so she could come out and run it with me. She won't be able to do so, because the race filled up and she has had a lot come up at work, but she ran a 5k with a time that qualified! She actually finished in 29:45-- faster than I did!! She has caught the "running bug" after participating in a few 5k races and is looking for other races in her area. I am hoping we will be able to get together to run a race one of these days! Thanks for training with me, Aunt Carrie, albeit on the opposite coast!

Donations Update:

Danielle, thanks so much for your donation! Your support ever since my dad got re-diagnosed has meant so much to me. I miss how easy it used to be to just pop into each other's classrooms!

Nick and Amber, I really appreciate you getting involved in my cause! I can't wait to see you in a few months to celebrate your wedding!

Also, I'm almost to 500 views for my blog! It's a little mind boggling that on 500 different occasions, someone has thought, "I wonder how Liz's training is going." I am thankful for the support you all have given with your donations, words of encouragement, and interest in this adventure!

Two Weeks' Notice

Saturday's Run:

Distance: 12 miles

Time: 2:16:44

Pace: 11:20 per mile

So, originally my goal was to finish the half marathon at a 10 minute mile pace. As my training progresses, however, it's become apparent that this is an unrealistic goal. Now the only real goal is to cross the finish line with the feeling that I have nothing left in the tank. On yesterday's run, I had nothing left in the tank. Around mile 10, I was moving at the same pace as the 6 year old to my left on his Razr scooter, which the iPod tells me was about 12:30 per mile. This is practically walking. Before my run, I called my dad to see how his recovery was going from his latest treatment. He said, "I feel flat." He meant, "I feel like shit, and I have no energy."

At mile 10, I felt flat. Then I realized: I did not get a chemotherapy treatment two days ago. I made the conscious effort at that point to turn my feet over faster and push off harder in an attempt to cover more ground more quickly. The Nike+ says I finished at a pace of about 9 minutes per mile, so I succeeded in kicking my ass into gear. There was a woman ahead of me pushing a stroller that I was trying to catch. I didn't quite catch her, but I got close.

I am curious to see how fast I can run on race day. 13 miles is essentially the same as 12 in my book, so I am hoping I can finish under 2:30. There are several unpredictable variables, however. The race is two weeks away, and my runs between now and then are much shorter than the ones I've been logging, so my body should have time to recover, and I might be able to improve my speed. While running the race, I'll be able to take advantage of the water/gatorade stations, and there will be plenty of people cheering me on. There will also be more people to try to catch. There will also be bigger hills and a headphone prohibition. So we shall see.

Donations Update:

I've surpassed my goal, but I hope some of you who have been tuning in to this journey will still consider contributing. I think it would be fun if people started donating $1 or $2 per mile- $13 or $26 might not seem like a lot, but it adds up! If you're not in a position to contribute financially, though, I still appreciate all of the moral support you guys have given me throughout the process. I'll be thinking of you all on race day. Everyone who has said, "How's your training going?" is stored up in my motivation bank, from which I intend to make frequent withdrawals on March 21.

Back in the Saddle

Wednesday's Run:
Distance: 3.72 miles
Time: 38:17'
Pace: 10:16 per mile

Thursday's Run:

Distance: 6.76 miles
Time: 1:11:39
Pace: 10:35 per mile

The soreness in my foot continues to worry me a little, but I figured that skipping Saturday and Monday's run was as much of a break as I could afford to take with the race only a little more than two weeks away. I was nervous to start pounding the pavement on Wednesday, but I taped both of my feet/ankles and that has helped quite a bit. I've also been icing my feet after the runs, so my feet actually felt better this morning and yesterday morning than they did during the several days that I was trying to rest them. Dad says I'm getting old; I didn't have any of these foot troubles when I spent more time running longer distancs while training for the full marathon in 2003.

A college friend of mine recently told me that when her dad was battling testicular cancer, the hardest thing for him to deal with was feeling like his body was working against him after he'd done so much to try to make his body work for him. I know my dad has certainly experienced similar frustration, especially since it is his treatments that make him feel the most ill. While I was running yesterday, I was thinking about how my dad was in the hospital getting his most recent chemotherapy dosage, and how my running injuries have given me a small dose of understanding about what that must be like.

I know it's pretty selfish to feel sorry for yourself about your feet being sore when your dad is being forced to poison his body in an attempt to save it. But it still annoys me that my body isn't holding up as well as I'd like. The other night Billy and I got tickets to the Maryland vs. Wake Forest basketball game, and by the time we got into the arena, my feet were pretty sore from a long day of work and class. When I was a child, I accepted the fact that I wasn't athletically gifted. Since then, I've been content to be athletically mediocre at everything I've tried. But as I watched the players effortlessly performing maneuvers which would have caused me great pain, I couldn't help thinking:
It's just not fair.
Why are some bodies capable of withstanding so much more than mine can?
Who decided that he gets to have a healthy body and I get to have one that gives me trouble?
Does he even realize how lucky he is?
I wasn't jealous that the players could dunk, or that thousands of people were chanting their names; I was jealous that they could stop and start while running without wincing. It's a hard thing, coming to terms with the fact that the health of your body is outside your own control. I can only imagine how hard it is when your life is at stake.

Donations Update:
Mary and Gary, thanks so much for your generous contribution and the supportive words you've offered all along the way!

No Run Today

Happy Meteorological Spring! We awoke to about 6 inches of snow.



Donations Update:

Thanks Glover! I know my dad has appreciated your friendship and support throughout this entire fight. I wish you were here to assess what is going on with my foot! Kari, thanks so much for your words of encouragement as well as your donation! Beth, I really appreciate your contribution- and I'm sure Lance would be glad Texas is now represented among my donors! MomMom and Pop, you always knowing how to put a smile on my face! : )

Weekend Update!

Fundraising Goal Accomplished!

Thanks to my dad's generous donation and another one from a kind anonymous, I have reached my fundraising goal! When I set $1000 as my goal, I had no idea how giving you all were going to be. I thought it would take $20 and $25 donations from quite a few of my friends and family to make it to the thousand dollar mark; I have been very pleasantly surprised by the number of donations so far as well as the generosity of those who've donated.

I hope those among you who have not yet donated will continue to consider it. Any amount you are comfortable contributing will be greatly appreciated by me, my dad, and those cancer survivors and family members that the Lance Armstrong Foundation supports. Donations can be made by visiting my fundraising website.

Winter Weather

Billy has been hoping for one good winter storm this season; I have been hoping the sun will come out and allow me to leave my coat home in the closet. I despise a forecast like this as much as Billy loves it. I can't deny that the timing is good, however; he can hope for one last chance at a decent storm while I take a bit of a break and rest my body before entering the final few weeks of my training regimen.

National Marathon News

This morning I visited the website for the National Marathon for the first time since I qualified and registered, and I discovered that the Half Marathon portion has sold out! Thank goodness I qualified in time!

The National Marathon encourages you to "share your story" with their communications director. The website says "your story may even be part of the television race day coverage." I submitted my story after I registered for the race, and I haven't heard anything back, but maybe they will still get in touch with me. I thought that since I don't have any training info to post today, I'd "share my story" here instead:

While running the National Half Marathon, my strides will take me exactly 13.1 miles. But I'm running the race because of more significant distances and vastly more important strides. In 2004, I graduated from college and left my home in Oregon to move east to start a new life in Maryland. I never even thought twice about it.

In the winter of 2005/2006, I felt every one of the 2,800 miles that separated me from my father when he was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 53. I was a year and a half into my career as a public high school teacher, so I couldn't afford the time or money it would cost to drop everything and go home for my dad's surgery. His doctor was able to remove all the cancerous tissue, and my friends who still lived back home went to visit him in the hospital. This helped to assuage some of my guilt about not being there, but the feeling lingered. All spring and summer, my dad endured chemotherapy sessions every other week to ensure that the cancer would never return. When he finished his chemo regimen, his doctor suggested that there was a 90% chance he would remain cancer-free.

Cancer brought me closer to my dad. After his diagnosis, we spent more time talking on the phone than we ever had previously. In the summer of 2007, my dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away to the man for whom I moved to Maryland in the first place. He couldn't have been more happy or more proud of my husband and me when we began our new life as a married couple. My dad was excited to see the house we had just purchased and hear our plans to redecorate it. He seemed to be a picture of health at my wedding; we had no way of knowing the tumors were again growing inside him.

In October 2007, my dad called to break the bad news. One of his routine scans revealed that he had three tumors in his liver. For the past year and a half, my dad has been undergoing different chemotherapy treatments of various degrees. Every time it seems that the chemo has done its job, and he gets a short break from the treatments, the tumors reappear. Over the holidays, he told us that if this round of chemotherapy treatments is not successful, he will have about 40% of his liver removed. This will make him unable to work and force him to dramatically change his diet.

Meanwhile, I'm still all those 2,800 miles away. We continue to make it a point to talk to each other regularly on the phone, and we get to see one another in person several times a year. But I've never been there to sit with my dad through a chemotherapy session. I've never been home to help him recover from a treatment. I've never been along to hear the latest prognosis from the doctor. When my dad gets discouraging news, he not only has to figure out how to cope with it himself, he has to call me and rehash all the difficult details so that I'm aware of what's going on. Through all of this, his hope and determination have never wavered. He believes strongly in the message of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which says that "Unity is strength. Knowledge is power. Attitude is everything."

This winter, I got tired of feeling helpless. I refused to believe that there was nothing I could do. I tried to figure out what I could do to help my dad, and I decided that I had to run the National Half Marathon. He coached all of my athletic teams throughout my childhood, and when I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2003, he flew into town to cheer me on. I knew he would be proud of me for putting the running shoes back on. I've also chosen to participate in the race to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. This will give my family and friends the chance to feel like they, too, are doing something more than just sitting around, waiting for the results of my dad's next scan. The LAF provides support for those who have just been diagnosed with cancer, those who are battling the disease, and those who are surviving it. My dad and I have always had great support from our family and friends. Through raising money for the LAF, I hope the members of our support system will be able to provide support for others who are not so lucky.

The 13.1 miles of the National Half Marathon seem short in comparison to the 2,800 miles between me and my dad. I hope, however, that running this race will help me feel like I'm bridging that gap. The strides I am taking to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation through the support of my family and friends will help others continue living meaningful lives long after they are first diagnosed with cancer.

With every stride I take, every mile I cover, and every dollar I raise, I am saying I will not let cancer rule my life. I will not let the disease make me feel helpless. I will channel my anger and fear into making a positive change in the world. I will support my dad's determination to fight for his life. I will help the thousands of people across the country and throughout the world that battle this disease every day.

Next up, foot pain

Thursday's Run:
Distance: 4.4 miles
Time/Pace: I am choosing not to look.

My body is not particularly happy with me right now. I'm about to lose a toenail on my left foot. I'm managing the soreness in my knee, but now my right foot is giving me trouble. It hurts to push off on the ball of my foot. You know how sometimes you're driving along, and you see a person running, with that miserable expression on her face? And you think, "Why is she putting herself through that?" Yesterday, that was me. I managed to "run" the whole distance, but only in the sense that there was a moment in each stride where both of my feet were off the ground, not in the sense that I was moving with any speed. It's probably safe to say my feet were barely off the ground; I felt like I was skating along with bricks in my shoes instead of feet.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to run 12 miles, which would conclude the phase of my training where I'm adding miles. After that, I get to start cutting back to rest my body for the actual race while still staying in shape. My body is ready for that rest. I think I will take off tomorrow (the weather is supposed to be nasty, anyway), and see how I feel on Sunday and Monday. Hopefully I can get my run in on one of those days. I hate that I can't complete every training run, but I don't want to sabotage my ability to compete in the actual race.

Donations Update:
Thanks Andrew! I appreciate your contribution and I know my dad will be glad to hear about it, as well!

B- Game

Monday's Run:

Distance: 4.68 miles

Time: 46:46

Pace: 9:58 per mile

Today's Run:

Distance: 6.42 miles

Time: 1:05:52

Pace: 10:16 per mile

Monday, Paula Radcliffe came on my iPod to tell me I had recorded a new personal best for one of the miles I ran (9:08, apparently). Today, however, I did not have my A game. I was trying to put one foot in front of the other, but I could never get into any kind of rhythm. Usually the high point of my run is when I reach the halfway point, because I know it's all downhill from there... but even making it halfway today did not feel exhilerating.

With about a mile to go, I could tell that I was running really slow. I would have liked to walk the last mile, to be perfectly honest. Instead, I tried to run as fast as I could. I was hoping Paula Radcliffe would come on to tell me that was a new record, but she didn't. At least I finished strong.

Donations update:

NaNa and Mr. Dick, thanks so much for your donation and your continual demonstration that my family has really become your family.

Erin, your contribution is appreciated just as much as your continued support throughout the entire duration since my dad's diagnosis. I miss being able to stop in and talk.

Anonymous, you know what your friendship means to me, in all the ways you find to show it.

The Final Mile

Thursday's Run:

Distance: 4.71 miles

Time: 50:07

Pace: 10:38 per mile

Today's Run:

Distance: 12.08 miles

Time: 2:04:10

Pace: 10:16 per mile

I didn't want to run today, and I had to drag myself out the door to get started. Before I left, Billy said, "You don't want to go, do you?" Despite this, I felt great for the first 10 miles. I was finally able to lose myself in the act of running, and I was passing mile markers without even knowing it. Until I got to the last mile. I was exhausted, and my stomach was growling, and I'd been running for nearly two hours... but I dialed up "Right Round" on my iPod, and rode Flo Rida's flow right to the end. I defy you to put that song on and not speed up your pace!

When I got home, I plugged in my iPod to see how steady my pace had been and discovered that more donations had been made while I'd been gone.

Cash, I hope you see a cure for cancer in your lifetime. Thank you (and Jay and Allen) for your donation. Patti, Chuck, and Brian, I am touched by your generosity. Mimi and Papa, I was excited to get your check in the mail yesterday, and have sent it in along with the form.

I'm not often at a loss for words, but when it comes to the donations, all I know to say is: I'm humbled. Thank you.

Perhaps it is on those days when we want to do something the least that completing the act has the biggest payoff.

Just like the old days

Today's Run:

Distance: 6.29 miles

Time: 1:07:10

Pace: 10:40 per mile

This morning, it snowed. When I got home, it was raining on and off and it had "warmed up" to the upper 30s. The deck was covered in slush, so I assumed I was relegated to the treadmill for today's run. After 2 miles on the treadmill, however, I had to get outside. (Aside from the treadmill serving as a psychological torture machine, I've become convinced that I can't take a normal stride on that belt. I feel like I'm taking twice as many steps per mile and I can't get any forward momentum going.)

I put on a track jacket, but I left on my shorts. This turned out to be a bit of a mistake, because my legs were numb almost instantly. After a few minutes, I realized why the feeling was so familiar.

The last time I can remember experiencing this sensation, I was a middle school soccer player. In Oregon, the weather always turned before the season ended. This meant there were a few games at the end that were miserable. Little 70 pound me would put my hooded Dynamites sweatshirt on under my jersey and run around in the cold rainy mess for the entire game. I can remember that before the game and at halftime, I would pull my soccer socks all the way up to cover the exposed skin on my thighs. Meanwhile, my dad and Krista's dad were always standing on the sidelines in their matching coaching parkas. I would look over when Bart yelled "ANTICIPATE!" and see them in boots, jeans, and these parkas while I ran around trapping the ball, which felt like a giant frozen snowball, with the inside of my thigh. The imprint would stay on my leg for the rest of the afternoon.

Why didn't we ever think to wear leggings under our shorts and shinguards? I KNOW we all had them.

Donations Update:

Thanks Vickie! I know how long it takes to make that amount as a college student. : )

Don't you get bored?

Saturday's Qualifying Run:
Distance: 5k (3.1 miles)
Official Time: 29:55
Pace: 9:38 per mile
Place: 374 out of 601

Billy: "I tasted that thing you ate before I threw the wrapper away. It was disgusting."
Liz: "The Clif Shot? It was raspberry flavored."
Billy: "It tasted like a raspberry that a bird pooped out."

Sunday's Run:
Distance: 9 miles
Time: 1:44:32
Pace: 11:36 per mile

When you tell people that you ran 9 miles today, they usually have the same reaction. "That is insane." Once in a while, you will come across someone who says, "Wow, that's awesome!" But usually, it's "That is insane." I'd like to believe this statement is comprised of a person feeling 90% sure I'm crazy, and 10% wishful that they could do it. (Incidentally, I got very similar reactions every time I told someone I was giving up my salary to go back to grad school full time.)

The second thing they ask is, "How long does that take?" Between an hour and a half and two hours. "Don't you get bored? What do you think about all that time?"

No, I do not get bored. And my mind never stops running. There are exactly 3 times per day that my mind stops going a million miles a minute: when I listen to morning radio on my commute in to work, when I check perezhilton.com after work, and when I sit down to watch TV with Billy before bed.

The rest of the time, my brain is in hyperdrive. Running is no different. So, in the interest of answering the question, "What do you think about all that time?" I will record here some of the thoughts I can remember thinking during my 9 mile run.

-I hope my Nike+ sensor is working correctly today.
-My legs hurt. Why do my legs hurt? I only ran 3 miles yesterday.
-I wonder if I could argue that Frodo and Nick Adams, in their elusive searches for place, are experiencing melancholia or cruel optimism. Which one would it be? Wouldn't Frodo be more of cruel optimism, while Nick's case is more melancholia? I guess I'll have to read more about it to figure it out.
-Do other people think about literary theory when they're running?
-Thank you for standing on this trail with your cigarette. Clearly no one is trying to exercise here.
-I bet this song has been taken off Rihanna's set list. (Lyric: "I aint gonna stop until I see police lights (uh-huh) I'ma fight a man tonight, I'ma fight a man tonight.")
-How is it possible that Mary Antin could be such a champion for immigrant rights, and Charlotte Perkins Gilman could be so vocal about women's rights, while both of them were prejudiced against black people? What accounts for this blind spot? Is it human nature to only champion your own cause? Isn't this the same thing that's happening with gay people right now?
-That dog weighs more than I do. I would not want to pick up that dog's poop. Why would you want that horse in your house?
-PICK. UP. YOUR. FEET.
-How is it possible in the several times I've run this trail that I have failed to notice its steady incline? Is it going to be uphill all the way to Annapolis?
-Why don't we already regard the slave petitions as the original examples of African American literature? The petitions have the same theme as all the later stuff? Couldn't that be its own genre that pre-dates the slave narrative? We teach the declaration in literature classes, which is a legal document.
-Does my ass jiggle like that when I run?
-I remember when Oscar was that small. If I got another dachshund, I would want a dapple one like that. I wonder if I'd be able to run with the Weimaraner we want next. Maybe a Vizsla would be easier for me to control.
-Same guy. Different cigarette. Why is he still standing on this bridge? Maybe he lives under the bridge, like a troll, and at night he doesn't let anyone pass. Maybe he hasn't moved off this bridge because he has been turned to stone in the sunlight. Then how would he get a new cigarette? Have I been reading too much Tolkien?
-How old are you supposed to be when you learn to ride a bike? He looks old to be learning. This is a good place to learn. No cars. No trees to run into like I did in front of my grandparent's house. Didn't they get that tree removed?
-How many people know all four of their grandparents well? How many people graduate from college with two great grandparents still living?
-How is it possible that Paula Radcliffe continued training for marathons until the day before her baby was born? Was she one of those people like Nicole Kidman who didn't gain any weight?
-No, Lance, that was not my longest workout yet. You only think that because I had to re-set my iPod.

Donations Update:
Thanks Mom! My mom broke the ice with a generous donation. Also, she told me that she is getting a colonoscopy.

If you aren't able to donate financially, but you tell your parents to get a colonoscopy, all this running and blogging will be worth it.

Qualified!

This morning, I ran my 5k qualifying race- and I finished in time! This means I'm now officially registered for the National Half Marathon on March 21, 2009. It also allowed me to set up my grassroots fundraising website for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Please consider making your donation by visiting my fundraising website.

The run went fairly well. It was above freezing, the sky was clear, and the wind was calm. The course was a bit difficult because the first mile was too crowded to get going very quickly, there was one very large hill in the second mile, and there was also a bit of a hill at the very end of the race. I finished the race in just under 30 minutes, so although I was hoping to post a better time, I was really excited that I was able to run a time that qualified me for the half marathon.

I also felt pretty good during the run. My knee felt rested and didn't impair me at all. I iced it after the race to prevent it from getting stiff, and it hasn't felt sore at all today. Headphones were supposed to be prohibited for the race, so I left my iPod at home only to discover that this was treated as more of a "suggestion" than a "rule" for many of the participants who ignored it. Running without the music made me realize how much it helps me in my training. It gives me something to focus on, and it helps keep my energy up, but mostly it prevents me from hearing the sound of myself gasping for air. The 5k course I ran today was only a few minutes from my house, so I might go back for one of my training runs. I'd like to see how long it would take me to complete the course alone with my music. Tomorrow's run is supposed to be 9 miles. I think I'll have a little bit of an extra spring in my step now that this qualification/registration hurdle is out of the way.

I can't really express how much I appreciate the ways you've all shown your support for me and my dad already, but I was thinking about all of you today when my lungs were on fire and my heart was doing its best to escape my chest. I hope that you'll consider contributing financially so that we can provide the same type of support for others who are fighting the same battles.

Qualifying Run Postponed

Today's Run:

Distance: 6 miles

Time: 1:26:25

Pace: 14:22 per mile

I am curious which one is more correct: the Nike+ sensor, which says I ran 6 miles, or the treadmill, which says I ran almost 7. I'm perplexed by this discrepancy, which becomes more pronounced the farther I run, because I use the treadmill to calibrate the sensor. But it's probably fair to assume the sensor is consistent, even if it's consistently skewed.

Either way, I'm not yet ready for tomorrow's qualifying run. Earlier this week I faced a bit of a conundrum, because I could have focused on speeding up my 3 mile time in order to race this weekend, but I would have had to do that at the expense of my distance training.

So, instead, I'll continue focusing on speed during my short runs and endurance on my longer runs, and I'll try to qualify on February 14. That day, I can choose between a 5k or a 10k, so I'll probably make that call a few days prior.

It would be easy to be discouraged by my slow pace today, but two weeks ago it would have been impossible for me to cover 6 miles without stopping every half mile to hyperventilate. So, I'll choose to focus on the positive, instead. My run today took longer than the Australian Open Women's Final, which I intended to watch for the entire 6 miles. At least I lasted longer than Dinara Safina did against Serena!

Nike+iPod

Today's Run:

Distance: 5k

Time: 43:11

Pace: 8:37 per km

Sentiment: A miniscule improvement, but with sore legs and Baja Fresh in my belly, I'll take it.

When I was training for the Chicago Marathon in 2003, I didn't even have an iPod. These days, I have an iPod AND the Nike+iPod chip. The Nike+ chip is designed to go inside a Nike+ shoe, and it communicates with your iPod as an advanced pedometer. I can't run in Nikes, so I'm thankful for the RunAway clip, which allows me to clip the Nike+ chip right onto my Asics (take that, Phil Knight!).

This is not any old pedometer, though. You calibrate it and plug in your weight, so it knows exactly how far you've run and how many calories you've burned (although I'm not sure it accounts for incline). You set your time, calorie, or distance goal, and a woman comes on over the top of your music to inform you of your progress (I'm trying to decide what her name should be). She also tells you when you're finished, and if you've accomplished a good run, a fitness celebrity comes on to congratulate you. Today, for example, Lance Armstrong came on to tell me I "burned a serious number of calories!" It's pretty cool.

When you plug your iPod in to your computer, it uploads your workout data to a website, where you can look at graphs of your runs, compare them to one another, and more. If you know someone else who has it, you can challenge them over the internet, or you can make friends with other users. You can even create your own avatar to put on your blog (see right!) or facebook page. I guess this is fitness in the 21st century!

The website especially seems like a useful tool. In a country where the majority of people are overweight, I can see how creating this virtual community where people can support and complete with one another would be highly beneficial. I think Lance was one of the frontrunners in developing this technology- he certainly takes the lead in marketing it.

I think Lance knows a lot about building a sense of community to provide people with the support they need. Whether with inspiring performances in a sport Americans otherwise care nothing about, or with small silicone wristbands, Lance knows how to bring people together. As difficult as it must be to reach a fitness goal without the support of others, it must be impossible to successfully battle cancer without that support. To view the manifesto of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, click here.

So, Dad, in support, I threw up after my run yesterday. : ) The good news is, I did not throw up today!