West Coast Visitors

This post is seriously late.  I planned to write about each visit after they happened, but the right words wouldn't come.  Then I hoped to write about how thankful I was for the visits and post it on Thanksgiving, but Nora's illness interfered.  I still don't feel like I've got it quite right, but here goes--

When I was an enamored 21 year old who chose to move to the east coast because she could hardly stand an 8 week separation from her boyfriend, I wasn't capable of fully reckoning with the consequences this decision would entail.  I was used to being away from home.  Portland was "just a plane flight away."  Children seemed a long way off.  Cancer was still something that didn't happen to my family.  Since I've been living here, though, I've realized that even though there was so much to gain by moving east, there was still plenty to be lost.  The older I get, and the more I accomplish, the more I wish I could spend more time with my family.  I could not believe my good fortune in 2007 when so many of my west coast family members travelled east to attend our wedding.  I was thrilled that they got to experience that milestone with me and got to see what my life was like here.

I wasn't sure when my family members would come to see Nora.  Babies don't really do anything.  Maybe they would want to save their visits for after her personality began to develop.  But they couldn't stay away.  To say that I have been touched by the welcome my west coast family members gave Nora when she was born is an understatement.  But I don't know any better way to explain how I felt about it.

My mom planned to arrive on Nora's due date, and I will always remember that when Nora came early, she said waiting to come was "killing her."  Thankfully, with some encouragement from my brother, she decided to make the trip a few days early and was able to stay in town for two full weeks. She crocheted Nora a blanket.  She gave Oscar some much needed attention while he was ailing.  She held Nora so I could get some rest.  She told me stories about when I was a baby.  She encouraged me as I began to find my way.  And in those vital first two weeks of breastfeeding, she assured me I was doing fine, that I would get the hang of it, and that the initial frustration and difficulty would fade away.

Mom, thank you for being here.  Thank you for helping me learn how to be a good mom, both before and since Nora joined our family.  In the years to come, I hope she will learn to appreciate as much as I do the sacrifices you made in order to welcome her into the world.

My brother arrived on the same day my mom left and stayed for a week and a half.  While he was here, Nora went from being a baby that slept all the time to one that wanted to be held all the time.  He was also here for her first growth spurt, and during those difficult few days, he gave us the gift of reminding us to laugh.  I knew Nate was excited about Nora's arrival, but seeing the affection in his eyes when he held her made me realize what a significant thing I had done just by having her.  Nate reassured us every day that we were doing a great job as parents.  He got Billy to take a break from being home all the time to attend Louis C.K. and joined Billy's family for the last Navy game.  He took video of the time he, Vickie, Billy, Nora, and I spent around the house that I'll cherish forever.  He reminded me how thrilled my dad would have been about our baby, both by saying it and by loving her in the same ways Dad would have.

Nate, thank you for being here.  Thank you for loving me and my daughter more than I ever knew a brother/uncle could.  Thank you for reassuring me that I can learn to be successful even in circumstances that are not within my complete control.

My grandparents arrived in time to help celebrate Nora's first monthday.  Doing so meant these seasoned motorhome travelers had to make travel and flight arrangements from the other side of the country and learn to navigate a densely populated metropolitan area to see use each day.  The joy Mimi and Papa took in meeting their first great grandchild also helped me to see that Nora means as much to our whole family as she means to me.  They reminded me how excited Dad had been when I was born and helped me to feel his excitement about Nora's birth even though he is not here to experience it.  They told me stories about when he was a baby and we talked about how parenting has changed in the past 50 years and how it has stayed the same.  They assured us that since Nora was so healthy and happy we must be doing a great job as her parents.  When we dropped them off at the hotel before they left, Papa opened Nora's door to tell her "Goodbye, Little Missy," which I know is exactly what my dad would have said in the same circumstance.

Mimi and Papa, thank you for being here.  Thank you for reminding me and teaching Nora how well we are loved from afar.  Thank you for helping us to appreciate how precious a new life is and how much happiness it can bring to an entire family.

Thank you all for coming to us.  I can't wait until Nora is big enough to travel West so she can see the places that shaped me and meet all the people who have been unable to visit but have found other ways to show their love for us.