A Gum Collection and Other Weird Stuff

While studying the Harlem Renaissance, my students read Zora Neale Hurston's "How it Feels to be Colored Me." If you're unfamiliar, I'd recommend checking it out- it's pretty funny. My favorite part is when she says discrimination doesn't make her angry, it just makes her curious about why anyone would want to deprive themselves of her company. At the end of the essay, she talks about a metaphoric brown paper bag containing odd bits of nonsense that represent her, so of course I give my students brown paper bags and tell them to fill them with things that represent them. They have to share them with the class, and today we had some interesting items, so i thought I'd share them.

Hands down the most unusual thing brought in was a "red shoe." Before I go any farther I have to explain that the kids stand next to my desk, set their bags on my desk, and take things out one at a time. It works well because they don't have to juggle the items, I get to see them up close, and some people feel more comfortable standing next to me up front rather than standing there all alone. So anyway, this girl was talking about a red shoe her mom gave her while she was reaching in her bag. She pulled it out and set it on my desk right in front of me as she was explaining that she has filled it with her gum collection. HER USED GUM COLLECTION. A red glass shoe, on my desk, with hundreds of wads of chewed gum, all different colors, filling the shoe and piling up on top of it. She went on to talk about how this is significant because each piece/wad represents a different moment in her life and they're all brought together inside this red shoe. In retrospect this is kind of an interesting idea, but while she was explaining it I was so disturbed that I couldn't process it. The best part was the kids couldn't figure out what was going on. After she finished explaining it, a kid was like "A gum collection?" and apparently I said "It's FULL of CHEWED GUM!" Laughter ensued, to say the least.

No story is as good as that one. Frankly, I know kids had all kinds of interesting stuff all day, but all I can think about at this very moment is the gum collection. Anyway, I will try to proceed with some other interesting tidbits.

One student is a drummer in the band and he had his favorite drumsticks in his bag. He held one up, said its name, held the other one up, and said its name. I asked how he can tell them apart and he said "I wrote their names on them."

One girl who brags constantly about being a hippie and dresses in all 80s clothes (she seems to think 80s clothes are what hippies would have worn, I'm not sure what the connection is there) brought in pictures of a peace rally/protest she went to in DC this summer. She had all these peace loving poses and stuff and she summed up her explanation by saying "I didn't take any shoes, and I walked around barefoot. My feet got so nasty and dirty, though, I had to scrub them for an hour after I got home. I wouldn't recommend doing that." I am sure people at peace rallies in the 70s went home and scrubbed their feet afterwards.

Another girl started with the pictures of all the dogs she's had in her life. She flipped through the pictures one at a time and told us how each one died. It went something like this: "This is the first dog I ever had. He got hit by a car. This is my dog Smokey. He got stolen about a year ago. This is my dog Boondock. He ran away because my dad didn't shut the gate. This is my dog Ringer. I had him when I lived in Waldorf and he got taken away in that tornado that came through there a few years ago." I asked if she was serious and she looked at me with a face of complete disbelief that I could even question it, and I felt bad. She proceeded. "This is my dog Buster, he died of old age." A girl in the class shouted "THANK GOD!" and everyone started laughing (including the girl with all the dogs, which was important to me, because I make a big deal about not making fun of anything in the bags). She had two other dogs, another one that died of old age, and one that is still alive (miraculously).

The other one that comes to mind is a kid whose parents immigrated here from Vietnam during the war. All of his things were about the pride he has in his heritage, so that was interesting and cool, and then he pulled out a bag of rice. He said "This is rice." (I found that funny in itself, because clearly it was rice.) Anyway, he went on to explain that rice is really good, and he eats it every night, but if you eat it too much it gets boring. And that represents him because if you're around him too much, he gets a little boring, too.

Also, a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends made it into the bag, but only one girl had nice things to say about her boyfriend. Everyone else seemed very bitter or something. I dont know if they were all in fights or felt uncomfortable saying nice things in front of the class or something, but it was weird.

The gum shoe, though, wow. I could do this activity for five more years and probably wouldn't get anything as great as the gum filled shoe.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Billy sent roses and chocolate to my classroom. Aside from making me happy, it made me the envy of about 2/3 of my female students. Sometimes it feels weird to have these girls looking up to me, but I thought about it, and I realized that I have now have everything I wanted in high school, so they're not very different than I was.

Student Quotes

As you may or may not know, while I was student teaching I had a quote of the day on my instant messenger profile because kids said crazy stuff every day. I don't know if it was because they were freshmen, or if I am now so used to their behavior that it doesn't strike me as strange anymore, but I wouldn't have a daily quote to report. Recently, however, they've said some pretty funny things, so I thought I'd share for old times sake.

Corey: Ms Chambers, it would be so awesome if you came to one of our parties.
Me: You seem to have misunderstood me; I like high school kids, I do not like hanging out with high school kids.
Corey: No seriously, they're rad, we have apple cider and applesauce and apples and that's where I get the apples that I give you every day.
Me: I'm sure.

For part of black history month we had an assembly where a woman pretended to be Harriet Tubman. It was good the first few times, but then I started grading papers, which resulted in:
Tim: Ms Chambers!
Me: Yeah?
Time: PAY ATTENTION!

During the performance she explained how people called Tubman "Moses" and sang the "Let my people go" song. At the end of the day, the performance got done 5 minutes before the period was over.
Junior: Are we going back to the classroom or are we staying here?
Me: We're staying here because we won't make it back before the bell rings and you will all scatter.
Junior: Ms Chames, LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOO!

Chance walks into the classroom.
Chance: Hey Ms. Chambers.
Me: Hey, what's up?
Chance (looking at Alan): Did she just said what's up? She just said what's up! (followed by hysterical laughter- am I really that old that I can't say what's up without getting laughed at?)

Eric: What kind of music did you listen to in high school?
Me: All kinds I guess, mostly country.
Eric: Country music is like the wind- it bloooooowwwwwws.

Response question after reading "We Wear the Mask":
What types of things do kids in your generation use as 'masks' to hide their true feelings?
AJ's response: I guess some students use drugs or clothes from abercrombie or something, but the worst is when girls are loud and obnoxious and try to disagree with everybody for no reason. There is a girl like this in this class and she sits three seats behind me and sometimes I worry that when she gets all loud she might just eat me.

Crystal showed me her report card because she was proud of making honor roll for the second time in a row. I looked at her grades and told her I was proud of her. She pointed to her 92 in Aerobics and this conversation followed:
Crystal: I hate that class.
Me: Why do you hate it if you have an A?
Crystal: I don't like the teacher.
Me: Why not? It's just aerobics.
Crystal: Yeah, but she wants us all to be anorexic.
Me: I think she probably wants you all to be healthy.
Crystal: No she doesn't. All I know is I want to be thick, and I started out at 123 lbs and now I weigh 118 lbs.
Me: What do you mean, you "want to be thick"?
Crystal: Well not that thick, I want to be like a girl in the rap video thick.
Me: Well, then eat more. Aerobics is good for you.
Crystal: No she wants us to look like a man like her. I want to be bumpin.
Corey (who has apparently been eavesdropping): A little cushion for the pushin!

Things are looking up

For one reason or another, things are going much more smoothly at school. I don't know if it is because we made oregami frogs and had a jumping frog contest or if it's because i'm showing a whole movie (All the Pretty Horses) as a reward for doing well on the test, but my juniors seem to like me these days, which makes my day go by more smoothly. I know I haven't updated in a while, so I thought I would just post some of the random ideas that have been bumping around in my brain.

-The world was a better place when Britney Spears ruled it. Or at least, the Super Bowl was better when she was in the Pepsi commercials and the halftime show.

-I don't know if people really get what they deserve in life, but I do know that your children end up paying for your mistakes. I see this with my students every day. This is an even better motivation for me to behave like a productive member of society than just knowing that I will get what I deserve.

-Last week I spent over an hour trying to make it through the last 5 miles of my commute (an accident shut the road down). While this was frustrating, I saw something I have been waiting my entire adult life to see: somebody got pulled over for thinking he was more important than everybody else and driving up the shoulder. Those people drive me crazy, and I slept a tiny bit better knowing that at least one person had to pay for it.

-I have rediscovered the person inside me that really enjoys running. I had forgotten how much I always hated the first mile.

-The Northern High School student paper can expect to never get a quote from me again. They asked me if I had a new year's resolution, and I said no, but I explained that my boyfriend was trying to get in shape for a cruise so I guess you could say my resolution was going to the gym with him. They published the quote as follows: "We are going on a cruise in July, and my boyfriend needs to get in shape before then, so I am making him work out." That was fun to have to deal with all day. When I called it to the attention of the newspaper teacher, he said "If it was a misprint, we're sorry." IF it was a misprint?? I just told you it was!

-For a few months the boys in my 7th period class have been bringing me the fruit out of their lunch that I guess their moms think they eat. Last week one of them upped the ante and brought me Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. When he brought them again the next day, I told him that it was one thing to give me leftover fruit, but I feel guilty having him buy me cookies I don't need. Since then I have not gotten any cookies NOR have they brought me fruit, so I am a little disappointed.

-When the touchdown the Seahawks scored in the first quarter was called back, it cost me $50 in our pool. I'd just like everyone to know that.

-ESPN says Joe Montana didn't go to the Super Bowl as a past MVP because he wanted to be guarranteed $100,000 to make his appearance and they wouldn't give it to him. I hated him when I was young and now he has made me hate him all over again.

-My favorite commercial during the Super Bowl was when the lady tried to climb over people on the airplane and ended up in the man's lap. That is me every time I try to fly home- well, not the ending up in someone's lap part, but the getting trapped by the window while having to pee part.

-My favorite TV show is The Office and I don't even work in an office. I regularly laugh quite loudly while watching. And if Pam and Jim don't get together, I might die.

-I finally saw that penguin movie and it was even better than everyone said. Especially on our TV. I felt like I was there, except it didn't smell bad, and I bet all of those penguins smashed together in one place would be really really smelly.

-I was sad that Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong broke up.

-Billy got an iPod. They're really all they're cracked up to be.

-In one week I broke both our computer and our printer. I broke the computer the day after the warrantee ran out. Typical.

-We haven't turned our heat on all winter and our apartment temperature is averaging about 85 degrees. I don't know if our neighbors below are running a hot stove yoga studio, or what, but I am worried about how expensive it will be to keep this place cool in the summer.

That's all for now.