The Night Before Christmas

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Last night, Vickie picked up Billy and me from the airport after an eventful trip back to Oregon for the holidays.  While we were home, I submitted my final paper of the semester, which felt like a huge weight off my shoulders.  It was a very rigorous term, so it feels great to have most of the work behind me.  I began working on my winter break project, which I'll need to submit before the semester is officially finished, but I am looking forward to undertaking that reading list over the next few weeks.  I also checked my grades for the two classes I've completed, and overall I was quite pleased with how they turned out.  I may have finally learned that perfection on my transcript is unimportant as long as I feel like I gave the classes my best effort.  I know I could have done better in one of the classes if I hadn't also been taking two other ones and teaching, but as a whole, I feel very satisfied with what I was able to accomplish this term.  I also feel relieved to have it behind me and to know there'll never be another one like it.

It was really nice to be in Oregon.  I finally got to introduce Billy to Jordan, Krista's husband and my old friend, and we both got to meet their girls for the first time.  I was so glad to have time to catch up with Krista and Jordan, and Clara and Evie were even more adorable in person, which I didn't think was possible.  When we were saying our final goodbye and Clara waved and said "Bye Liz!" my heart grew three sizes that day.  We also hosted a get together of old high school friends, and my friend Tina arrived early so we could meet her new baby, Sophia.  Sophia was happy and smiley, and it was fun for me to see Tina as a new mom and talk to her about how she has begun to figure things out.  (It was NOT fun to hear that she'd been in labor for over 24 hours.  Yikes!)  It was also great to see my friend Kelsey and several other girls we grew up with.  We are all doing such different things, and we're in different phases in our personal and professional lives, but everyone is doing so well.  It made me thankful that I grew up in a time and place where it was cool for girls to be smart and kind.

I was also glad to have a chance to spend time with family.  I'm spoiled now that Vickie lives with us, but especially after such a difficult semester, I was really looking forward to going home to see my mom and dad.  Mom continues to work really hard in her job downtown, and she told us that she recently realized she has worked 22 Saturdays this year.  She has had to put in a lot of overtime, and her job sounds like a lot of work, so I was really thankful that she was able to take some time off to spend with us.  My dad's parents, Mimi and Papa, finally got to town after several flight delays, and it was great to be able to see them for the holidays again this year.  I was also glad to see my dad, and we finally got to hear more details about his trip to Chile.  He also shared his photos of the trip with us, and it was nice to hear how much he enjoyed seeing the country with Nate and Judy and how nice his visit was with his exchange student host family.

Dad says he felt well during his trip, but unfortunately the tumors in his liver seem to have spread since his return.  Shortly after we arrived in town, his doctors determined that he has some kind of blockage in his liver, so he underwent a procedure to try to alleviate the obstruction.  The procedure was not as successful as the doctor had hoped it might be, so they are continuing to try to figure out what the next step will be.  My dad has kept such a positive attitude and a determined spirit throughout his battle with cancer that it just feels so fundamentally unfair that the cancer does not recognize how badly he wants it out of his body.  My dad and I are both such do-ers that I know it's hard for both of us when there doesn't seem to be anything that we can do.  I was really thankful that we were home to try to help out and keep him company since he wasn't feeling well.  Given Dad's health, we've decided to forgo the trip to Australia we had planned for January and will instead return to Oregon to spend some more time as a family.  I had been looking forward to this winter break all semester, and now I am more appreciative than ever that I don't have to "report for duty" at school until late January.  Billy has never been to Seattle, so I am also hoping we will be able to get up there with Mom during this next trip out.  It will also be fun to have the chance to see Jordan, Krista, Tina, and their girls again.  We're all hoping that Dad will be feeling better then, but if he is not, I am glad that I will be able to be home to help out with whatever he needs me to do.  Plus, now that he has a DVR, we can catch as much Australian Open tennis as my heart desires!  : )

It was hard for me to leave Portland, but it is always nice to come home to our own house, and Oscar is definitely happy we're back.  After sleeping in this morning, we went up to Patti and Chuck's to exchange gifts before heading to Nana and Mr. Dick's to spend Christmas Eve with Chuck's side of the family.  Billy's cousin Gina is newly engaged, and his cousin Chuckie recently finished his nursing program, so there was plenty of Christmas cheer with that side of the family this year.  It was fun for me to have Vickie there, too.  Billy's family has made me feel like one of their own for several years now, but having them adopt Vickie into the swing of things makes me realize anew how kind and welcoming they are.  Now she's off to work at her church's Christmas Eve service before we all head up to Billy's Aunt Mary and Uncle Gary's house to celebrate with Patti's side of the family tomorrow.

I'm sorry that I won't get to see Nate or my Gramma Kingston this holiday season, but I feel more thankful than ever that I've gotten to spend the holidays with all of the other people who are most important to me.  I hope all of you out there are enjoying plenty of good food, fun, and laughter with your loved ones this holiday season.  My tendency to get caught up in my academics makes me appreciative that I have so many people in my life who remind me that the most important things in life are not printed between the covers of a book.  I feel like I must have overused the words "thankful," "glad," and "appreciative" in this post, but I can't help feeling like my heart is full this Christmas.  Cancer infuriates me, but it also reminds me that life doesn't promise us anything, and in just one day everything can change.  I feel so fortunate that I got to hug and laugh with so many people I love this month, and I hope you'll all take a few extra minutes this season to do the same.

Growing up, my dad read us The Night Before Christmas by Clement C Moore every Christmas Eve before bed.  In the spirit of that book, I'll close with:

Happy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

(I almost like this picture better than the proper one at top.  The camera has fallen over, Oscar has jumped out of his spot, and Vickie and I are laughing, but Billy is still trying to play it straight to get the shot.  Such is life in our house these days.)

Third Girl

On January 18, I wrote:
A few weeks ago, I officially joined the Annapolis Striders. This year's goal: qualify for the Championship Series. There are 8 races in the series, and to qualify, you have to run in at least 6 of them. The distances are 5k, 10mi, 10k, 1mi, 8k, Metric Marathon (26.2k/16.3mi), 5mi, and 15k. 


Yesterday was the last race of the year, and so I officially qualified for the Championship Series.  And because I dragged myself (and Billy) out in the cold drizzle for 15k/9.3 miles, I secured my third place position.

Yesterday's race was pretty difficult.  It was in the 40s with a light drizzle, so although that was highly preferable to snow or 40s and pouring rain, it was still a bit bone chilling by the end.  Neither Billy nor I could peel my banana until we had been in the car long enough to warm up our hands.  I ran slow, and my legs are still aching from the rolling hills, but I finished.  And that was the main goal.

I also wrote in that post that I wanted to get close to a 9 minute mile pace, but that just hasn't happened.  I'm running slower and slower every time, it seems.  After a too-hot-to-run-outside summer and a demanding, exhausting fall semester, though, I'm pleased that I stuck with the goal and continued showing up for races even though the times I was able achieve were not my best.  Maybe next year I can work on improving my pace.

This year, though, in running and in life, has been about putting my head down and sticking with it.  The Championship Series is a nice reminder that sometimes there is a prize for slow and steady, even if that does not win the race.  (Literally: There's a prize for 3rd place.  My first running prize!)  Of the 12 people in my age group that registered, only 4 of us stuck with it through the end, which reminds me that my determination will continue to set me apart from others.

Speaking of which, I've got to get back to this final paper for my Postcolonial studies class.  It's the last thing standing between me and my winter "break," though I took a break yesterday to run the race and do some Christmas shopping.

(Third Girl is a novel by Agatha Christie.  I've never read an Agatha Christie novel, but the title works. : ))

The Little Engine That Could

Hi everybody!  Yesterday I submitted a 32 page seminar paper on Eliza Haywood's Fantomina and the 17th century scientific revolution.  I have been busting my brain on this project for several weeks.  At the end of the day, I have no idea whether my professor will find it adequate or not.  I took on some very complex theoretical frameworks, though, so I'm really proud of where the project ended up.  I think that's supposed to be the point of a seminar class, anyway, so I'll consider it a success no matter what grade my effort garners.  It's funny how sometimes the class you thought you'd be least interested in is the one that motivates you to push yourself to produce your best work.

I also taught my last undergrad class of the semester, so it finally feels like some of the pressure I've been under is lessening.  There's still a lot of work to be done; I collect final papers from my students tomorrow, so I have to grade those and finalize their grades for the semester by the 17th.  Yesterday, when I collected their final participation self-evaluations, one of the most quiet girls had written a short note about how much she had enjoyed the class.  It reminded me that one of the things I learned while teaching high school was that you have to consciously make the effort to avoid doubting yourself just because some of your students frustrate you.  They're the most vocal ones, but they tend to obscure the fact that for most of the class, things might be moving along quite well.  I always want to feel like my courses are ones in which students get out of them what they put in, so I need to re-learn to stop getting so frustrated by the students who don't put in much effort, and re-learn that the students who sit there quietly and periodically compliment my shoes before class might be learning as much as I hope they are. I also had three students schedule appointments during office hours to go over last minute questions about their papers, and all three of those conferences went really well.  I quite enjoyed talking to those students and could tell that they had been putting a lot of work into their research projects.  I hope I'll be able to take those moments away with me and leave the grade complaints behind.

I also have to research and write a 10 page paper for my postcolonial class, due December 20.   Though I think I know where I'm headed for that paper, I don't feel like I have a great idea.  I think I may have run out of great ideas and/or the energy to conceive great ideas for this semester, and I think that's okay.  Just do the best you can is the mantra that has been on repeat through my head this semester, so I'll give that paper as good a shot as I can muster.  Everyone likes to tell me things like "Nobody loves every paper they submit" and "Sometimes a course just doesn't strike a chord with me," but I've never actually submitted a paper I wasn't quite proud of, so we'll see how it goes.  At least I can direct my focus on that paper once my grading is done rather than trying to work on it while doing 18 other things simultaneously.

Then I have the entire holiday break to work on a research project for my American modernism seminar.  I am actually quite excited about that because it feels like I will finally be getting the chance to focus specifically on my area of interest.  It will also give me some increased motivation to read some of the books/articles I've been meaning to read but haven't been able to find time to get through.  I hope working on that will keep my momentum going through the break while still allowing me to feel like I've had a break from the intensity of the semester.  After this week, I don't have to be on campus again until the end of January, and I realized recently that this is the first time I've had over a week off since I began graduate school.  Even this past summer, when I had a month off of work, I still had to go to class four days a week for my intensive German class.

I'm also looking forward to going back to Oregon for the first time in two years.  It will be fun to see my parents and several friends, and I'll finally get to meet Krista's little ones.  My dad recently told me that my grandparents are going to be in town for part of our visit, so that was just like icing on the cake.  While we're home we're also supposed to finalize plans for our Australia trip!

I hope that in the long run, I'll be thankful that I put in these few hard, high pressure months to get a little bit ahead of schedule on my funding package.  It's comforting to know that I'll never have to teach students and take classes in the same term.  And I hope that next term will feel a lot more manageable by comparison. I still have a lot going on, but I'm not teaching, so I hope I'll be able to avoid the feeling of being completely and totally overwhelmed.  The comments of my classmates and professors suggest that they don't feel like my work has suffered too much as a result of my over-commitment, but I know that Billy and Vickie and a few friends have seen just how close to the edge this semester has pushed me.  I hope for all of our sakes I'll be able to continue getting better at finding a healthy balance between school and home life.