Nora's First Oregon Visit: Bend

Monday evening we packed up and made the drive down to Bend to see Nate and Ashley and meet up with my grandparents and aunts, who traveled in to see all of us.  Evidently I have never taken Billy up to Mount Hood before, so we decided to take that route to central Oregon. It was cool to see it up close on such a beautiful evening.  I was amazed at how many of the landmarks along the route I remembered from when I used to make the trip frequently as a middle schooler.

We arrived without too much trouble, but on Tuesday our trip took a turn for the worse.  Nora was acting strange, which we first attributed to tiredness.  When I saw that one of her toys was bloated, I wondered if the increase in altitude had left her feeling just a little bit uncomfortable (Bend's elevation is around 3,500 feet).  Our happy little baby was fussy, had no appetite, and wouldn't let anyone else hold her.  Though she has recently been getting better and better about interacting with others while I'm in the room, she not only became clingy with me-- she became melancholy and cuddly, which is not her personality at all.  Nate snapped this photo of her that afternoon, and though I miss having her cuddle up on my chest, the fact that she was doing it then was a clear signal that something was wrong.

Late in the day, she developed a fever which ultimately required two trips to urgent care, alternating doses of various medications, and lots of extra nursing and affection.  It was upsetting to me on a variety of levels-- I was worried about her, nobody could figure out what was causing the fever, I was upset that our doctor was on vacation so I couldn't ask his opinion, I was exhausted from the demands of keeping her content and hydrated, and I was really bummed that my family didn't get to see her regular personality.  I had been looking forward to seeing all of them for months, and as Nora grew happier and more independent, I was excited that the timing of the visit would allow them to hold her, play with her, and interact with her.  That really didn't happen because she wasn't feeling well.  She just wanted her mom.  All things considered, though, her attitude through the whole thing really amazed me.  When we showed up at urgent care and told them her temperature, they first suggested we'd have to go to the emergency room because it was so high.  But the doctor came out and said "She's so alert and calm, we can take a look at her."  On the second visit, I had to keep us occupied while we waited for her to provide a urine sample, and I took another picture because I couldn't believe how upbeat she was.  If I had a bag stuck to me and tucked inside my diaper, you can be sure this isn't the face I'd be making.

Nonetheless, it was great to be in Bend.  I loved seeing Nate and Ashley in their own element, even if the picture I got of it was fairly limited in scope.  Their house seems perfect for them and they both seem happy and at ease there.  Old Mill Brew Werks, the pub my brother co-owns, seemed to have a cool atmosphere, definitely had delicious food, and had a good crowd on the night I was there.  In fact, they just introduced something called a "Buddy Board" which allows you to buy beers for friends even when you're not there, so if you think you might be taking a trip to Bend, let me know and I'll buy you a beer.  : )  After we were able to regulate Nora's fever and get her to sleep, Billy stayed with her at the hotel so I could go enjoy a meal with the rest of the family and see the pub.  I was sorry we couldn't all be there together, but I was glad to have at least a short chance to have "adult" conversation and to hear how my family members were doing.  In addition to my grandparents, my aunts Carrie and Dana both made the trip up to see us, so it was great to spend some time with them and have a slight break from worrying about Nora non-stop.  Plus, I've been reading about Chef Rudy's "fusion cuisine" concoctions on facebook for months, so I was glad to get to get a taste of his cooking for myself.

Thursday was our final day in Bend, and though the morning started off with more anxious attention to Nora, the medicine helped moderate her temperature and she finally started acting a bit like herself after she woke up from her mid-day nap.  The timing of this worked out nicely because my grandparents were planning to have us all over to their motorhome inside their RV park for a cookout.  We all had a good time hearing about my grandparents' recent travels and talking to Nate and Ashley about their baby plans.  Since they found out earlier in the week that the baby is a boy, everyone had suggestions about what they should and should not name him.  I feel like I hardly got a chance to talk to anyone for the whole visit, but I did get to hear a little about Nate and Ashley's parenting plans, and I really enjoyed hearing their perspectives.  I am not really inclined to give unsolicited advice, and Ashley has been around a lot of younger siblings for her whole life and is much better equipped to be a mom than I was, so mostly I was just curious to hear about what choices they think they will make along the way.  One thing I could tell, even from these fairly brief conversations, is that they seem to be generally on the same page in regards to what kind of parents they want to be and how they want to handle different situations.  In my observations, this is the key element to success when it comes to co-parenting, so I am excited for them to embark on this journey together, and I'm more assured than ever that they will enjoy the journey and be really great at it.  Which "philosophy" parents adopt seems way less important than the fact that they adopt it together and present a unified front.  I look forward to reading along on Ashley's blog about their adventures in parenthood. : )

I feel like I hardly got to talk to Aunt Dana and Aunt Carrie, and I was bummed that they hardly got a chance to play with Nora.  But she did spend some time ambling around on the ground with her toys, demanding to be bounced up and down, babbling, and imitating faces and behaviors, so I guess they did get to see some of her favorite things to do.  Despite my best efforts to get a picture of Nora with everyone, I realized after the fact that I didn't even get one with my Aunt Carrie!  I guess you will both have to come visit us here in Maryland soon if you want to see Nora in her own element. : )  In any case, here are some of my favorites from the photos I did manage to take that afternoon.

Sadly, we had to leave Bend Thursday evening to avoid a three+ hour drive to the airport.  In addition to wishing we'd had more (and more meaningful) time to spend with my family members, I wish we'd had a chance to see more of Bend.  Thanks to the amazing welcome basket Ashley had waiting at the hotel and the amount of idle time I spent perusing its contents while caring for Nora, I am aware of how many cool things Bend has to offer.  I suppose this is one additional reason to be excited that Baby C is on the way-- I hope we'll be able to head to Central Oregon again soon to meet him.  

I barely even want to mention the trip home because it was kind of nightmarish.  The short version goes like this: lots of crying on the drive back to Portland, a hotel room adjoining to a person whose cough was so loud and terrifying that I woke in the night sure Nora was dying, a diaper blowout of epic proportions on the way to the airport (no solids+antibiotic=disaster), a baby that refused to sleep in flight unless she was nursing, and an extremely delayed connecting flight out of Chicago.  We finally struck a bit of luck when we were able to fly stand-by on a less delayed flight home.  As we waited in the jetway to board that plane, a man in a suit made a point to announce to everyone in earshot that he had been watching her, and our daughter had the best attitude of anyone in the terminal.  I was sure this unsolicited act of kindness was going to make me cry, so all I could muster in response was to say "definitely a better attitude than her mom has" and to ask her to smile at him. She promptly complied.  And then we had no choice but to sit by a teenage boy on the plane.  I thought this spelled disaster, but he was such a nice kid, and he happily made faces at Nora throughout the flight and even got her to mimic him patting his legs.  Next time you see a parent traveling with a little one, be extra kind.  It will go a long way toward calming their nerves.

Billy took this picture of Nora in the airport while we waited.  When my siblings and I were younger and we would complain about ridiculous things, my parents used to tell us sarcastically, "You are such a deprived child."  Obviously, Nora's late night behavior proves that she believes she has been deprived of the sheer joy of staying up past her bedtime.  The man in the jetway was right.  She went through cranky periods on the trip, but all things considered, she was an ideal traveling companion.  When we got home, Billy and I agreed that one of the best parts of the trip was getting to learn more about our daughter by observing her in unfamiliar circumstances.  She is such a trooper and she has such a cheerful, inquisitive spirit that nothing can get her down for too long.  Though the trip did not go according to my plans, I hope everyone who made a point to take the time to meet her was able to see those qualities in her.  Traveling with her might be stressful, but she is our most precious cargo, and we will never get tired of parading her around to show her off.

Nora's First Oregon Visit: Willamette Valley

We made it home from our first trip to Oregon as a family of three!  We've been calling it "Nora's Big Adventure," but it was quite an adventure for me and Billy, too.  Our plan was to arrive in Portland late Friday night before spending Saturday, Sunday, and Monday visiting my mom and old friends.  Then we were planning to drive to Bend to see Nate and Ashley, eat at Old Mill Brew Werks, and meet up with my grandparents and aunts who also came into town to do the same.  Nora got sick around the time we arrived in Bend, so it sort of turned into A Tale of Two Trips.  Since it divides nicely in half, I'll start with the Willamette Valley portion of our trip and follow up with the Bend portion when I get a chance.

We were really nervous about the long day of travel it would take us to get west, but Nora turned out to be a good little traveler.  Billy snapped a photo of her in the Baltimore Airport, climbing all over her car seat and excited to undertake her big adventure!  She was in good spirits and so curious about what was going on inside the plane that she stayed awake for the entire flight to Chicago.  She was a bit cranky during the layover, so I had to walk around the terminal for a while, but she wouldn't go to sleep. By the time we boarded the second plane, she was getting kind of punchy.  You can tell in the photo that her eyes are wide open with curiosity even though she's dead tired.  It was hard to get her to sleep on the long trip from Chicago to Portland, but she probably ended up dozing through about half of the flight.  At one point when her fussing was stressing me out, I decided that if you get on board an airplane without headphones these days, it's not my fault that you might have to listen to my baby cry. : )  (I have a lot more to say about the traveling aspect of the trip, so I'm hoping I'll get a chance to sit down and share some travel tips I hope to remember next time I get on a plane with a little one.)

We arrived in Portland and made it to our hotel in our rental car without incident.  I decided to stay in a hotel in Oregon City because it has some good memories for our family, it's centrally located, and all the rooms have a view of the river.  Once we woke up the next morning, I had Billy take a picture of me and Nora in front of our view. I'm accustomed to seeing bags under my own eyes at this point, but I've never seen them on a baby!  She was tired from the trip but because of the timing of our arrival, she  went to sleep when we got to the hotel, woke up around 7:30, and managed to get right back onto her regular sleep schedule.

We spent most of Saturday with my mom, who met us for brunch at Shari's and came back over to hang out with us down by the water after Nora's afternoon nap.  It was great to see Mom.  I'm glad hear that she is enjoying her new job a bit more than the last one, and since the warm weather has finally arrived in Portland, it is her favorite time of year.  We also spent most of Monday hanging out with her at her house.  I loved getting a chance to see her interact with Nora, who was happy to have her Oma hold her for long periods of time.  This was a nice change of pace from when Mom visited us in the Spring and Nora was still every bit the Mama's girl.  Mom got a chance to see all of Nora's favorite activities-- playing around on the floor, eating, observing new surroundings, babbling away, and the like.  I wish my mom could see all of Nora's developmental stages first hand, but since she lives on the opposite side of the country, I'm thankful that her visits with Nora have still given her a chance to see each of my baby's major stages.  She continues to encourage and support me and Billy as parents, which I also appreciate.  A lot of people are inclined to try to tell new parents how they should do things, but my mom isn't like that.  She seems to enjoy hearing how we make decisions when it comes to Nora, and I enjoy hearing her reflect on the things she remembers about what life was like when Nate, Vickie, and I were little.  My mom has always been good at letting me know she's proud of me, and though I sometimes take that for granted, I've been extra appreciative of it as I've spent the last year figuring out how to be a good mom myself.  It is also fun to hear Mom talk about the things she wants to do with Nora as she gets older, and I hope they'll have a chance to do all of them!

Saturday evening we got to see Shaye, Eric, Connor, and Caleb Shira.  They were a big part of my Dad's life in his last ten years, and he developed such a close relationship with Connor and Caleb that they eventually started calling him Grandpa Mark.  They are great kids and it was a lot of fun for me to see them get so excited to meet Nora.  It was great to watch her interact with the boys, and it was nice to have a chance to chat with Shaye and Eric.  We all miss my dad, but it's reassuring to hear that they hang onto their special memories of him and think of him often as they move forward with their lives.  It was a little bittersweet to think about how much Dad would have loved to be there for the dinner, but at the same time, I know how pleased he would be that Nora will get a chance to know the boys.  Someday I hope they can show her some of the things my dad enjoyed doing with them.

On Sunday, Billy, Nora, and I got together with some of my friends from high school who have little ones.  Jo and Alex hosted at their home in Southwest Portland, and it was great to meet their four month old daughter, Francie, who I feel like I know already from reading Jo's blog posts.  Krista and Jordan were also there with their girls; Clara is three and a half and Evie will soon be two, so Krista and Jordan are the most experienced parents of the bunch.  My friend Tina and her husband Greg were there with their daughter, Sophia, who is only one week younger than Evie.  They are getting ready to move to Montana soon, so I'm glad they were able to make it.  Rounding out the bunch were Rachel and Trevor, who were expecting their son Logan last time I saw Rachel.  He just turned one in March and didn't seem to mind all the girls running around. : )  These girls often make a point to see me when I'm in town, so we've had several chances to sit down and catch up through the years.  This time, with all the kids, we still got to enjoy some frequently interrupted conversation about what we are up to these days.   Most of all, though, it was so nice to see the kids together, trade parenting stories, and see that all of these friends I like and respect are doing a great job with their children.  Jo and Krista took a bunch of pictures, and I'll be sure to post some here when they get a chance to share them.  Thanks again to Jo and Alex for hosting!  With a four month old and a recent return to full-time work, I don't know how Jo managed, but it was so nice to see everybody and not have to worry about disrupting anyone out in public.

That afternoon, we went over to Krista and Jordan's house to spend some more time with them and the girls.  Last time we saw them, Evie was close to Nora's current age and Clara was close to Evie's current age, so it was fun for me to think about ways they are similar and ways they each demonstrate their own individual personalities.  I have always been especially attached to these girls, even from afar, because Krista and I have been friends so long and she has been such a help to me as I've made my way as a new mom.  That made it extra fun to see how they interacted with Nora.  They were good about sharing their toys with her even though she put them all in her mouth.  Clara was a little nervous at first, and told me in a mildly concerned voice, "But we don't *want* anybody to eat all our toys."  I explained that Nora doesn't mean to ruin anyone's toys, but she puts them in her mouth because that is one of the way she feels and understands new objects.  Then Clara went and got a toy cupcake, handed it to Nora, and told her that would be a good thing to put in her mouth.  A few minutes later I heard her tell Evie, "Don't worry, she is just *pretending* to eat the toys."Clara has always been so vocal that it's easy to see (and marvel at) how her little mind works.  Evie still doesn't talk a whole lot, at least not in words I can understand, so I was surprised to find that it's not as hard to figure out what she's thinking as you might expect.  Krista took some pictures of the girls together, and she takes such good ones that I didn't really even bother with my phone, but I did snap this one picture of Nora and Clara playing together.  I know it's not the best photo but I still love it because I love both of these kids so much.  That evening, we all went over to Krista's parent's house, where my mom met us for dinner.  Again, we spent more time talking about the kids than anything else, but since I grew up in Bart and Becky's house, it was nice to see them again and introduce them to Nora. I've been friends with Krista and Jordan so long that it's always great to see them.  Often when I introduce people to Nora for the first time, I feel kind of anxious about how it will go, but with them I have always been able to just relax, be myself, and enjoy the time we have together.  We always end up joking around a lot, so Billy fits right in (though to be fair, Billy fits right in with basically any group of people). 

As I mentioned, we spent most of Monday with Mom, but we did take a mid-day trip up to visit Dad's niche at the cemetery.  I haven't been to Portland since Dad's memorial service, and on that day I left my LIVESTRONG bracelet behind.  It's still there.  I don't know what I'll do when I first see a photo that shows it has finally blown or fallen away, but in the meantime, it brings me some comfort to know that a little part of me has been there with a little part of him all this time.  I'm glad Dad asked to have part of his ashes interned because I can now appreciate the ritual of having a place to go to "visit" him and reflect on what his loss means to me.  It was hard and nice to take Nora there for the first time, to find that the picture Vickie took around the holidays was still there, and to replace it with more recent ones.  Nora and I had a chat about the same things I tell her often-- that her grandfather would have loved her very much, that he would have been thrilled to know her, and that I was doing my best to make sure she would learn the things I learned from him.  She was curious and intrigued by the space, just like she is about everything else.  She also held herself up on the "Mark" bench for several minutes and looked out at the amazing view of the Willamette Valley.  I don't know how Billy always knows the exact right thing to do and say, but he does, so having him there as a calming and reassuring presence made it a really special visit.

I think that about wraps up the first half of our trip-- more to come when I get a chance to write about our trip to Bend!

Professional Photos: Happy Baby

I don't know if everyone will agree that I've saved the best for last, but this is my other favorite picture of Nora from our professional shoot.

I think she looks beautiful, and I love her in this little dress.  But the best thing about this picture is how well it captures her little personality.  I feel like I know this little expression so well already.  She may only be nine months old, but Nora is happy, and curious, and independent, and spirited, and I think this expression shows all of those things.  I can distinctly remember that during my teens, my church leader Laurie told me she was talking about me with her daughter, who was a few years older.  Her daughter asked her to clarify which group member I was by saying "the one with spunk?" and Laurie said "Yes, that one."  When I found out I was having a daughter, I hoped she would inherit whatever this is about my personality that people frequently notice and make similar comments about.  I think Nora has it, and I think this picture captures it, so for that I am thankful.

Professional Photos: Silhouette

I love this photo way more than I thought I would when April had us pose for it.  I think the sky looks beautiful and the dark portions of the silhouette have the perfect amount of detail.  Nora is so small that we have to bend a little bit to hold her hands, so I expected it to end up looking weird.  Instead, I think it highlights how adorably small Nora is and tells a story of how focused Billy and I are on her at this point in our lives.

Plus, if you zoom in really close (or if you were to print it poster size, which I am thinking about doing), the silhouette even captures another one of my favorite of Nora's features: her chunky little thighs.

Visit from Mackenzee

Since we aren't able to make it to Lompoc this summer, we have been looking forward to the chance to  host my cousin Mackenzee for her first visit to the East Coast since our wedding.  We were looking forward to seeing her and introducing her to Nora!  She is the youngest cousin on our side of the family, but on her mom's side, she has four younger cousins, so she has spent a fair amount of time around babies.  Nora took to Mackenzee immediately, and though our everyday lives must be fairly boring to a teenager, we did our best to keep her occupied.

On the first day of her visit, Nora, Mackenzee, and I took a trip down to Annapolis.  We wandered around downtown, stopped in some of the shops, and spent some time sitting down by the water in the shade.  It was a bit hot for being outdoors too long, but since Kenz says it is "way too cold" in Lompoc, she seemed to enjoy the sun and heat!

Over the weekend, we got to spend some time with Vickie while she had a break from work.  On Saturday afternoon, the three of us went to see the Orioles play the Tigers while Billy stayed home and hung out with Nora.  It was fun for me to have a day out with the girls, and it was the first time I've managed to make it to a baseball game this season.  The Orioles had a decent lead from the first inning onward, but the Tigers tied it up late in the game and we got to see some exciting extra-inning play.  In the end, the Orioles won with a walk off home run in the bottom of the 13th, so it was a perfect ending to a fun day.  All the ladies in our family are currently experiencing a bit of an obsession with TOMS shoes, and all three of us happened to be wearing them at the game, so we had to snap a picture. : )  Mackenzee is an Angels fan but ended up being glad she decided to wear Orioles gear because, she informs me, the Orioles have "a lot of hot guys" and "all the Angels are old."

Evidently I didn't snap any photos, but on Sunday all five of us went duckpin bowling.  I won the first game and Vickie played well, and in the second game, both Billy and Mackenzee broke 100 and Vickie and I lost our touch.  As always, Nora enjoyed looking at everything around her and trying to figure out what we were up to.  Sunday night, Mackenzee spent the night with Vickie in the city.  They went to see Spiderman at Harbor East, and apparently the movie was good and it was the nicest movie theater Kenz had ever seen.

On Monday, Nora and I went up to Canton to meet up with the girls and let Nora experience her first swim day at Vickie's pool.  I had no idea how she would handle it but she ended up liking it quite a bit. At first she was unsure about the water and only wanted me to hold her, but eventually she let both Vickie and Mackenzee walk her around in the pool.  Then we took turns holding her in a standing position on the pool steps, which she thought was even better.  By the end she was jumping up and down in the water!

On Tuesday, I was hoping to take the girls on a Potomoc boat cruise past the monuments in DC, but since temperatures were supposed to exceed 100 degrees, we decided on an indoor activity instead.  After I gave her a brief description of the different museum options, Mackenzee chose the Holocaust Museum, and I was again reminded that it is impossible to go there on only one day's notice.  So instead we went to the Newseum, where we saw exhibits about 9/11, technology in the news, sports photography, Pulitzer Prize winning photographs, and the First Dogs through the years.  Nora was a trooper, and so was Mackenzee when I made her pose in front of a piece of the Berlin wall, which she had never heard of.  The most interesting thing for me was talking to Kenz about what news events she remembers and which were before her time, but the exhibits were cool, too.  There was an entire wall of front pages from newspapers around the world on September 12, and I wish I'd had more time to stand and look at them.  They also have a portion of the radio antennae from the very top of the World Trade Center there and it was pretty surreal to think that had been so far up in the sky and had come crashing so far down.

Today we hung around the house for the most part, though Vickie did join us for lunch before Nora and I took Mackenzee to the airport.  It was a lot of fun to have her here because she's a great kid, she's up for anything, and she was really good with Nora.  It was also an interesting experience for me because, at 15, she's exactly halfway between my age and Nora's age.  Plus, I know my dad would have been happy that Kim and Craig decided to let Mackenzee make the trip, thrilled that we four girls got to spend some quality time together, and thankful that Billy helped us make the most of our time together even when he was super busy with work.  I feel like I say it a lot, but I know how fortunate Nora is to have so many adoring family members who are invested in her life, and I'm glad she got to spend the past week with one of the ones she hadn't gotten to meet yet.  Down the road I look forward to hearing Mackenzee say "I remember when you were barely learning to crawl!"  : )

Thanks for making the trip, Mackenzee!!  We'll see you real soon on facetime. : )

Professional Photos: Happy Family

We thought our family members might like to have a more traditional posed family photo of the three of us, and this was our favorite such photo from the set.

Even though she's not smiling in this picture, I like how relaxed and comfortable Nora looks.  Plus, I love that Billy and I are both smiling our "real" smiles instead of looking like we're forcing fake smiles for the sake of a posed photo.

Professional Photos: Beautiful Baby

This photo of Nora might look familiar to those of you who are on facebook, since our photographer chose it as the "preview" for our session.

One of the things I was hoping a professional photographer would be able to capture was Nora's unusual eye color.  If you look at her eyes in bright sunlight, you can see that they have a dark blue outer rim, a lighter grayish blue background, and are dappled with patches of brown and hazel.  Depending on the light and what she's wearing, they sometimes look green, hazel, blue, or gray, but to me they always look like a unique and beautiful combination of my blue eyes and Billy's brown eyes.  This picture also shows how perfect and creamy her skin is.

I also love how this picture captures Nora’s general sense of wonder about everything around her.  She's very happy-go-lucky at home, but in unfamiliar surroundings she works so hard at taking everything in that strangers and family members often tell us she is a “serious” baby.  One of my favorite things about Billy is his pervasive curiosity about the world and how astutely he observes everything around him.  So often he helps me to see things from different perspectives and encourages me to think more deeply about things that I would otherwise fail to notice.  I love that Nora inherited this demeanor from him and am glad this picture captures her sense of awe!

Professional Photos: Family Candid

Earlier this month, we had April Cain take professional photos of our little family at Quiet Waters Park in Annapolis.  Most of my friends with little ones have had at least one set of professional photos taken, and I always love how they turn out, so I knew I wanted to get ours done at some point.  I decided to wait until Nora could sit and stand, and I'm really happy with the way the timing worked out.  I'm glad to have professional images of her in this stage because while she still looks like a baby, we were able to get her to smile for a lot of the pictures and she has enough body control that she doesn't look goofy or awkward.

We ended up purchasing five of the images of our session as digital files, but rather than posting them all at once and spoiling the fun, I thought I'd post one per day for the rest of this week.  I'll kick it off today with my favorite picture from the session.

One of the main reasons I wanted to have our photos taken was to capture how much Billy and I love and delight in our little girl.  I think this picture captures our family of three perfectly, so that's why it's my favorite.

On Cloud 9

Nora is 9 months old!  And she's getting less cooperative with these monthday photo shoots because she has no interest in relaxing in her reclining seat.  These days she is always on the go!

Our pediatrician doesn't give any immunizations at 9 months, but he had us bring her in for a check-up. We keep checking off more and more boxes on the developmental rubric and she keeps growing well!  She weighed in at 17 lbs 8 oz and measured 26.5 inches long, so she continues to chart in the low range for length and the mid range for weight.  Her head circumference was 18 inches, which puts her somewhere around the 85th percentile.  We're hoping there's a big brain in there!  : )

This week she finally stopped relying solely on the barrel roll mobility method and started scooting around on her belly, so we think she will end up crawling before she walks after all.  Since last month she cut teeth numbers 3 and 4 and is right on the verge of cutting numbers 5 and 6, which seem to be bothering her more recently.  She is getting more vocal all the time and enjoys babbling away, especially when she is by herself in her room, in her carseat, or if she thinks she is alone while playing on the floor.  Her hand control, which has always seemed advanced, is getting even better.  She even started clapping recently!  By far the biggest development, though, is that she's now able to pull herself to standing-- very quickly!  The crib rail is the easiest thing for her to pull up on, but there are quite a few pieces of equipment at Gymboree that also fit the bill.  She continues to nap and sleep well, but she has been waking up earlier than usual for the past week or so.  I'm hoping this is teething-related, but we'll see.

Just like I did at 3 months and 6 months, I compiled a video that captures her abilities at this stage.




We love getting to know her personality better with each week.  Just don't tell us she's "almost a year old"; we're not ready for her to turn one!

A Beautiful Mind

I feel like I often write things like "Nora's little brain amazes me" or "I can't believe the things she figures out" without giving specific details that make those comments meaningful.  So I thought I'd share a story from this evening which goes to show why little Nora boggles our minds sometimes.

We've been working on helping her learn to drink out of a sippy cup.  The ones we've been using have a silicone spout with a little hole in it.  When we tip it, a little bit of water shoots out, but then the flow stops unless she sucks on it.  Billy is good at helping her with it, but somehow I always let her suck more water than she can easily swallow, so it's a work in progress.

Two baths ago, we gave her a rubby ducky in hopes of putting an end to her persistent desire to climb right out of the tub.  Tonight, she was playing with the ducky in her hands, dunking it in the water, etc.  Then Billy filled it with water and squeezed it in front of her, causing a stream of water to squirt out of its beak and onto her.

Immediately, she reached for the ducky, stuck the beak into her mouth, and kind of tilted her head back before sucking.  Billy and I looked at each other, awestruck.  To us, it's a rubber ducky.  To her, it looks and functions just like her sippy cup.  The human brain is an amazing thing.

Update: I noticed that above, I first called it a "rubby ducky," which seems like an honest mistake, but since I wrote "beak" instead of "bill" twice, that seems like more of a mental glitch.  I am leaving those errors as they appear to record the fact that my mind is, perhaps, not quite as sharp as Nora's at the moment.

Day Care Dilemma

Last semester, when I returned to school, I was able to do a pretty good job managing my teaching responsibilities and mothering duties thanks to help from Billy and Patti, who watched Nora while I went to campus for lectures and discussion sections.  I kept hoping I’d be able to accomplish more of my own academic work as the semester went on, but I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere.  “I feel like I’m stuck in the mud,” I told one of my mentor professors.  “Your mud will dry, Liz.”  When I asked her what she meant by that, she said “You’re smart enough, but more importantly, you have the self discipline it takes to be successful.”  I had to ask myself: was she still right?  What had happened to my self discipline?  Why, when the clock struck 9 every night, was I crawling into bed instead of cracking open a book?

I kept thinking that once Nora got onto a somewhat regular schedule, I’d be able to manage my time better.  I’ve always gotten a lot of difficult work done because I’m good at forcing myself to do necessary things before allowing myself to do fun things.  That prioritization approach to time management doesn’t work when you have a baby, though.  I can’t put off playing with her or feeding her until I get through another chapter. And though I tried staying up late and waking up early to get my work done, I was just way too tired to do any good, quality work during these periods.

About a month ago, I realized that despite the fact that Nora was finally keeping a fairly reliable schedule, and I was getting quite a bit of work done, that amount of work was nowhere near enough.  Further, I began to realize how impossible it was to do the type of really serious thinking and focused reading my job requires in the one hour chunks that Nora’s schedule allows.  It is remarkable how much more I can accomplish if I can sit down for two uninterrupted hours than if I can sit down for one hour two separate times. 

So we started considering the possibility of finding a day care placement for Nora.  Initially I was hoping to find a part time solution, but that is difficult to secure, and I realized that putting her in full-time care would buy me significantly more time to work.  I was nervous about making the full time suggestion to Billy, but all he said was “If that’s what it will take for you to get your work done, that’s what we will do.”  I should have known.

I spent about two weeks searching the web, making phone calls, and visiting day care facilities.  I was hoping to find a place that was reasonably priced, conveniently located, and made me feel comfortable, but I quickly learned that given the limited availability starting in late August, I wasn’t going to be able to meet all those requirements.  In the end, I feel thankful to have found a place we can afford where I know Nora will flourish, even if it’s farther away than I’d like and costs more than I was hoping to spend. 

One of the facilities upset me: none of the babies or workers seemed happy.  Others seemed fine, and I didn’t think leaving Nora behind there would be too bad.  But the one we chose feels like a place she might actually enjoy attending.  It’s a “school,” so they use education language for everything.  We’ll pay “tuition,” she’ll have two “teachers” who write daily “lesson plans” for their classes, we’ll get a daily “progress report” on how she did, etc.  This choice of words is effective.  Even if they weren’t any different in practice, it would be easier to talk myself into taking Nora to “school” than to gear myself up for leaving her at “day care.”  But I do think this school offers a lot of things she’ll enjoy.  The teachers have backgrounds in early childhood education, so they know how to foster her development. She is fascinated by other babies, so I know she’ll enjoy having the opportunity to socialize.  She takes in new surroundings like a little sponge, so I imagine the curriculum of “pre-ballet,” baby yoga, “tiny tennis,” language lessons in English, Spanish, and sign language, and the like will keep her little brain occupied.  And she’ll even get to keep her own schedule until she starts walking steadily, when she’ll be upgraded into the classroom that attempts to establish a routine for all the kids to follow.

For all of these reasons, taking Nora to “school” for a few days each week actually appeals to me.  It’s the idea of taking her there full time that makes me feel anxious about this impending change in our lifestyle.  When I left her with Patti and Billy for as long as six hours, I didn’t really feel like she missed me.  Even so, I was home with her every other day, so she got plenty of mama time in between babysitting days… and I got plenty of Nora time.  The timing also makes it tough.  I’ve gotten to see all of her milestones so far, and I love watching her learn new things every week, so it makes me sad to think I might miss her first steps or her first real words. 

When I start to feel really anxious or nervous about it, I run through this list of things to remember:

-It’s only going to be for about four months.

-I’ll still get to spend a few hours with her every evening before bed.

-It is a necessary means to an end: leaving her full time for a few months will help me clear this major hurdle in my program, which I hope will mean I can scale back to part-time care in the future without jeopardizing my academic standing.

-Being in graduate school is not costing me time spent with my daughter; it has given me much more time with her.  It’s not fair to think of this change as something I “have” to do because I’m a graduate student.  If I was still teaching high school, Nora would have been in full-time care since she was 12 weeks old, and I would have had to return her to day care after a summer off at the exact same time.

-I get the most work done when I’m under pressure or highly motivated.  If expensive, forced separation from my daughter doesn’t push me to become highly efficient while we’re apart, I’m not going to be able to finish my degree, and I might as well learn that now.

Most of all, though, I try to remind myself how fortunate I am that after I drop Nora off, I get to go do work that I enjoy.  After we made the decision, I actually began looking forward to having the chance to sit down and do some serious work.  The fact that it’s still over a month away means I can try to soak up all the extra time with Nora in the interim.  And in the meantime, I’m trying to finish my syllabus and make all of my lesson plans so that once the semester starts, I can focus the majority of my time and energy on preparing for my exam.

Here goes nothing?

Seriously, how cute is she?  Now that she can stand, it's all she wants to do.

5 Years

Five years ago today, on 07.07.07, Billy and I promised to stick together forever.  I've been fortunate my whole life through, but my husband, the life we share, and the family we've started are the best things that have ever happened to me.




I love you, baby.  Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad. : )

See also: four years and three years.