Student Quotes

As you may or may not know, while I was student teaching I had a quote of the day on my instant messenger profile because kids said crazy stuff every day. I don't know if it was because they were freshmen, or if I am now so used to their behavior that it doesn't strike me as strange anymore, but I wouldn't have a daily quote to report. Recently, however, they've said some pretty funny things, so I thought I'd share for old times sake.

Corey: Ms Chambers, it would be so awesome if you came to one of our parties.
Me: You seem to have misunderstood me; I like high school kids, I do not like hanging out with high school kids.
Corey: No seriously, they're rad, we have apple cider and applesauce and apples and that's where I get the apples that I give you every day.
Me: I'm sure.

For part of black history month we had an assembly where a woman pretended to be Harriet Tubman. It was good the first few times, but then I started grading papers, which resulted in:
Tim: Ms Chambers!
Me: Yeah?
Time: PAY ATTENTION!

During the performance she explained how people called Tubman "Moses" and sang the "Let my people go" song. At the end of the day, the performance got done 5 minutes before the period was over.
Junior: Are we going back to the classroom or are we staying here?
Me: We're staying here because we won't make it back before the bell rings and you will all scatter.
Junior: Ms Chames, LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOO!

Chance walks into the classroom.
Chance: Hey Ms. Chambers.
Me: Hey, what's up?
Chance (looking at Alan): Did she just said what's up? She just said what's up! (followed by hysterical laughter- am I really that old that I can't say what's up without getting laughed at?)

Eric: What kind of music did you listen to in high school?
Me: All kinds I guess, mostly country.
Eric: Country music is like the wind- it bloooooowwwwwws.

Response question after reading "We Wear the Mask":
What types of things do kids in your generation use as 'masks' to hide their true feelings?
AJ's response: I guess some students use drugs or clothes from abercrombie or something, but the worst is when girls are loud and obnoxious and try to disagree with everybody for no reason. There is a girl like this in this class and she sits three seats behind me and sometimes I worry that when she gets all loud she might just eat me.

Crystal showed me her report card because she was proud of making honor roll for the second time in a row. I looked at her grades and told her I was proud of her. She pointed to her 92 in Aerobics and this conversation followed:
Crystal: I hate that class.
Me: Why do you hate it if you have an A?
Crystal: I don't like the teacher.
Me: Why not? It's just aerobics.
Crystal: Yeah, but she wants us all to be anorexic.
Me: I think she probably wants you all to be healthy.
Crystal: No she doesn't. All I know is I want to be thick, and I started out at 123 lbs and now I weigh 118 lbs.
Me: What do you mean, you "want to be thick"?
Crystal: Well not that thick, I want to be like a girl in the rap video thick.
Me: Well, then eat more. Aerobics is good for you.
Crystal: No she wants us to look like a man like her. I want to be bumpin.
Corey (who has apparently been eavesdropping): A little cushion for the pushin!