On Breastfeeding

I've written about The Old Man and the Sea before.  I like this book because I can relate to the Old Man, who is determined to the point of stubbornness.  I can appreciate that his determination has its payoffs and its drawbacks.

There is a scene in the novella that I think about all the time.  Santiago has been trying to catch a fish for months without any luck.  The villagers say he is salao, the worst kind of unlucky, but Santiago still believes he will find success.  The part I relate to is the precision with which he attempts to catch a fish.  He takes great care in preparing his bait, setting his lines, and observing the signs of the ocean that indicate a fish might be near.  He says, "It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready."  I mentally rehearse this line all the time.  You can't control luck, but you can be ready to capitalize on it when it strikes.  This is my general approach to life, really.  I would rather be exact.  Then when luck comes you are ready.

For the past several months I have been lamenting that my approach to living and my strengths as a person are not particularly well suited to motherhood.  I may relate to Santiago's preparation, but I have less success relating to his patience.  I also don't do well in circumstances where there is a great deal of uncertainty or where success is hard to measure.  It's pretty tough to be exact as a new mom.

In recent weeks, though, I've been thinking about how this approach, and my strengths as a person, have helped me out considerably when it comes to breastfeeding.  I am obsessive about conducting research, evaluating information, and acquiring knowledge.  I am determined to the point of stubbornness, and I have a lot of experience enduring difficult circumstances in order to achieve a desired result.  All of these things have helped me make breastfeeding work for me and Nora.  She took to nursing better than some babies seem to, so I realize that there was some luck involved in our success.  But I've also been trying to give myself credit for doing the legwork ahead of time and for possessing the determination that allowed me to make the most of that of luck.  When the luck came, I was ready.

Despite his experience, determination, and belief in himself as a fisherman, Santiago repeatedly says "I wish I had the boy" during his fishing expedition.  He's referencing a young boy named Manolin, who was Santiago's apprentice until his family made him switch to a more successful boat.  Nonetheless, Manolin supports, encourages, and looks after Santiago while he is on land.  This kind of support is another thing I'm fortunate enough to share with the old man.  Through all my research on breastfeeding, I've learned that one of the main reasons mothers fall short of their nursing goals is because they don't have adequate support from their family, friends, and medical professionals.  Breastfeeding is really important to me on the level of intellect, because I know how many health benefits it provides my daughter and me.  But it's also very important to me on the level of the heart.  Now that we've established good nursing habits, breastfeeding Nora is emotionally rewarding and the bond it has helped us create is something I will always cherish.  So I also wanted to say a public thank you to the following people, all of whom have been instrumental in helping me and Nora establish and maintain a good nursing relationship:

Thank you to my mom, who taught me that nursing was natural and possible by breastfeeding all three of her children and by reassuring me, from the very beginning, that I was giving Nora exactly what she needed.
Thank you to Billy, who had to stand by helplessly when I was emotionally and physically exhausted by Nora's feeding demands, but who found ways other ways to lighten my load and never suggested giving up on nursing.
Thank you to my lifelong friend Krista, who showed me nursing was possible by successfully breastfeeding both of her girls, and who always responded promptly to my frantic late night emails with encouragement, sympathy, and advice.
Thank you to my brother and sister, who provided an extra set of hands during Nora's three week growth spurt, and who kept me in good enough spirits to survive those most difficult few days.
Thank you to my mother in law, Patti, who has embraced the uncertain task of learning to feed Nora expressed milk while she babysits, even though it is her first experience with on-demand feeding.

Breastfeeding is not easy.  There were some days when I spent nearly five cumulative hours nursing Nora.  Plenty of tears were shed.  I couldn't have done it without support from the people close to me.  But because I have friends who are currently pregnant, and others who are planning to conceive in the not-too-distant future, I wanted to say, publicly, that breastfeeding is one of the few things about being a new mom that you can prepare for, it is one of the few things about being a mom that gets easier in time and eventually makes your life easier, and it is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.