As many of you probably know, dachshunds suffer from spinal disc issues because of their long stature. Oscar's first spinal injury occurred when we were at the hospital for Nora's birth, but a single course of steroid treatment successfully rehabilitated his back. This past July, he hurt himself again, but this time it was his neck that was pretty seriously injured. Another single course of steroid treatment seemed to heal him, but after a few weeks, it was clear that he was not back to normal. After another course of steroid treatment, he was in even more pain than when it had started. We became convinced that he was re-injuring his neck while on the steroid.
We considered surgery, but ultimately decided against it because it would have been very expensive, it would have put Oscar through a lot of additional stress, and even if it had successfully treated this disk injury, it wouldn't have done anything to prevent future injuries. Billy did a lot of internet research on treatment options for dogs with intervertebral disk disease, and we learned that eight weeks of complete crate rest is recommended for dogs recovering from neck injuries. We had to switch to a new vet, but we were able to find one who agreed to prescribe Oscar higher doses of anti-inflammatory and pain medications in hopes that we could keep him comfortable in the crate while giving his nerves the time they needed to heal. In an attempt to speed his tissue recovery, we also had a tech from the vet's office come to the house for laser treatments 2-3 times a week.
This was a really difficult 8 weeks for us. Oscar tolerated being in the crate, but he disliked it as much as you might expect. It was stressful for us to be worried about his health, and keeping on top of his medication regiment required our constant attention. We were able to stick with it, though, because he showed noticeable improvement from week to week. With about two of the eight weeks remaining, we began to get very optimistic that he was healing enough to enjoy a happy life outside the crate, even if it was going to require serious limits on his mobility.
Unfortunately, Oscar was ultimately unable to tolerate life outside the crate. Once he we let him out of the crate to move around, the pain began to return. We spent a few weeks hoping that he would be able to acclimate to life outside the crate if we slowly increased the length of time he was allowed out, but this didn't work out as we'd hoped, either. He wanted to be out, to play with Nora, and to sit on our laps. But anytime we would let him out for more than 15 or 20 minutes, his head would slowly begin to drop lower and lower until we'd have to force him back in the crate to rest. When that rest stopped helping him feel better, and the yelping pain returned at the end of his pain medication cycles, we decided that he had been through enough and we had to let him go.
It was hard to accept that the treatment regimen hadn't worked despite all the time, energy, and optimism we put into it. It is difficult to feel like Oscar might be running around today if our vet had recommended crate rest when the injury first happened. I find myself wishing we'd been more successful at limiting his mobility throughout his life. Maybe he would have lived longer if he hadn't been allowed to go up and down the stairs or jump up on the couch. But maybe not. He was a healthy, happy, vivacious little guy up until the injury in July, and we did the best we could to help him recover, so it gives me a little bit of comfort to know that while he was alive, he was living the life he wanted to live.
I don't quite know how to describe how it feels to lose Oscar. It's devastating. It's heartbreaking. The house feels so... empty. And quiet. Billy and I got him a few months after we moved in together, so in essence, we have always had him. He was a member of our family. We both loved him dearly and loved watching our daughter fall in love with him, too. He was so good to her. He made us feel like a family when we were just two kids in our early twenties thinking about planning a life together. He taught us lessons about being caretakers that have made us better parents to Nora. He made our lives happier just by being in the house. Although we both had dogs growing up, neither of us was living at home when their lives ended. This is the first time either of us has had to say goodbye to a beloved pet and adjust to life without him around. We're trying to take it one day at a time. Each day I feel a little bit less pain about his death and I miss him a lot more. So that sensation, at least, is all too familiar for me.
And while we have been sorting through our own feelings of loss about Oscar's death, we have also had to decide how to answer Nora's questions whenever she brings him up. I hope to write a separate post at some point about how she is adjusting to his absence, but in the meantime, here's the short version: She is beginning to understand that he is gone for good, and she won't be able to see him again. I feel like she misses him but is not fully capable of understanding what that feeling is or why she is experiencing it. So we've been talking about "missing" and trying to help her understand.
We're thankful for all the love and support our family and friends have shown since we had to put Oscar down. It is a bit reassuring to realize that everyone knew how important he was to us. In closing, I wanted to share a few of my favorites among our more recent pictures with Oscar.
Ugh. I miss him.
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