Happy Father's Day!

I hope everyone was able to enjoy some fun time with their families this weekend! Yesterday we went up to Pop's to spend some time with Patti's side of the family. This was our first time seeing Cash since his six month birthday, and he is crawling now, so he is full of energy! He also likes to be held up so he can hop around. He is looking less and less like a baby and more and more like a toddler! Pop's recent round of treatments seem to be improving his health a bit, so hopefully the summer months will continue to bring an improvement in his condition. Today we had Brian, Patti, and Chuck over to the house for dinner, after which we were joined by NaNa, Mr. Dick, Nancy, and Tony. It is always fun to have the family over to our house, and it reminds me how fortunate Billy and I are to have such a nice home that can accommodate so many guests. I wish that we could have spent some time with the fathers on my side of the family, but I trust that you all enjoyed your days out west! I am looking forward to seeing my own Dad in a few weeks and taking in Cooperstown with both him and Billy. I always wanted to go there with my dad when I was a kid-- I think ever since I saw it on "A League of Their Own" and Ken Burns' baseball miniseries. To be able to enjoy it with my dad and my husband will be a special bonus.

I kicked off the morning with a 10k race here in town. My friend Danielle had been training to run it with me, but unfortunately she has been feeling unwell and didn't think she could complete the race. I was disappointed that she couldn't join me, but she still came along to cheer me along, and Billy was there as always. Erin came out to see me finish, so my fan club was complete! I was hoping to run it in under 60:00, and I finished in 57:01, which is a pace of about 9:10 per mile, so I was really pleased with my performance. I really enjoy running on my own, because it helps me clear my head and relieve stress, but it is also a lot of fun to be racing against other people. When there are people to keep pace with and chase down, I don't notice my own fatigue as much, and I am able to run much faster times. I have an 8k coming up in August, and the Army 10 miler in DC in October, so I am hoping to continue improving my race pace while cutting back on miles a bit now that the weather is heating up. It is harder to get runs in, especially long ones, when the only comfortable times to hit the road are the few hours after sunrise and before sunset.

It has been another busy week. Billy and I got rear ended when he was driving my car home from dropping his car off for service, so now I have to get my bumper replaced. It seems like there is no end to these fender bender incidents when one's life necessitates commuting in the DC metro area. We continued to settle into the new building at work, and are finally working out the "kinks" of the new arrangements, so I am hoping that it will start feeling familiar soon. I finished watching the film trilogy of The Lord of the Rings and feel that I can now hold my own in a conversation with anyone about the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. Tonight while playing a game, I found myself irritated that the scrabble dictionary does not recognize "palantir" as a word, at which point I realized that it is probably best for me to take a break from nerd-land before I find myself playing World of Warcraft and visiting Renaissance Festivals (if any of my Tolkien friends are reading this, I adore you guys and acknowledge my own commensurate nerdiness, but you know this is true!!). This week I also watched Smart People (surely most English professors are NOT like this, right?), Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist ("We didn't miss it- this IS it"... loved it), and Gran Torino (who knew there were so many racial slurs with which I was not familiar? or that Clint Eastwood sings?). I'm also reading my way through "The Great War and Modern Memory." I've read parts of it before, but it's kind of required reading for someone who wants to specialize in Great War literature, so I'm revisiting it. I also had to write my C.V.-- ugh. The professors submit CVs that are upwards of 30 pages long and mine fits on one half page.

On a more somber note, a co-worker of Billy's who was one of the leaders of the James Webb Space Telescope project passed away this week. After discovering that he had a brain tumor, he underwent a high-risk surgical procedure in an attempt to remove it. After the surgery, he spent several days in ICU, but was ultimately unable to overcome the complications of the surgery. It has been humbling for me to think about it. I've often considered how terrible it must feel when an athlete suffers an injury and loses use of the body that has brought him success. It has always struck me how devastating it would be to know that at any moment, you could suffer an injury that would take away your livelihood as well as your ability to play the game you loved. I had never considered, however, that those of us who work with our minds could likewise lose our capacity to think properly in an instant. To realize that this man, who was determining the proper configuration for the set of mirrors that the telescope will use to look back in time, could suddenly find himself struggling to regain consciousness or hoping to regain the ability to speak is heartbreaking. I've always thought pursuing a career in academia was "safe" because no one could ever take my mind away from me, but I now realize how naive this thought was. I hope Billy's co-worker's friends and family members will find comfort in knowing that although his life was brief, he has contributed to projects that have and will continue to radically transform our understanding of the universe, while evidently also proving himself to be a good man and a sincere friend.

It leaves me wondering; what have I done so far with my own mental gifts? What is the extent of my responsibility to the world to devote my mind to serious pursuits rather than to reading People magazine? If I were to lose it all today, what would be my legacy? Have I loved people enough? Have I served humankind enough? How much do my academic pursuits really matter? I hope I will get the opportunity to see my plans through until the end, when I can instruct students at the college level, nurture their interest in literature, and encourage them to become the kinds of thinkers and high school teachers that this world desperately needs. I hope I will have the opportunity to be the kind of wife and mother who supports and encourages her husband and children in their own pursuits and contributions. But this man's death has reminded me that none of that is promised; I can't be so focused on what I hope to contribute in the future that I fail to contribute anything right now.

So I choose to continue to read. And to think. And to love. And to reflect. I feel fortunate to have found, so early in my life, so many of you who are committed to doing the same.