My First Mother's Day

As Mother's Day approached this year, it did not really occur to me that this was now a holiday that was supposed to celebrate me.  I feel like I should reflect on what it feels like to be a mother this year, but for some reason, my main feeling about today is that I'm so thankful my body gave me the opportunity to be a mother.  My body has spent the last year growing, delivering, and nourishing a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.  I've made the effort to remain healthy and active through my pregnancy and since Nora was born, but mostly I feel like my body did these things on its own with very little input from me.  I'm so thankful that this little bundle of energy is part of my life now that I feel like I owe my body a big Thank you! for making her life possible.

While the physical fact of being a mother feels largely out of my control, the notes I've received from loved ones have touched me and helped me to feel encouraged about all the time and energy I've put into trying to be a good mother.  Nora finally cut her second bottom tooth on Thursday, and ever since then she has been happier than ever.  Billy gave me a really sweet card and a gift certificate to get a massage.  I love being a mom, but the daily rigors of caring for a little one and making constant decisions about what she needs takes a physical and mental toll on me, so the massage feels like the perfect gift. My own mother even sent me a bouquet of flowers to congratulate me on celebrating my first Mother's Day!  When cards from my grandmother and sister as well as nice notes from plenty of others continued to arrive, it really kind of hit me that this was now a holiday that applies to me.  Being Nora's mom is starting to feel like second nature at this point, but being "a mother" still feels like it is somehow outside my experience.

Yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day with our little family of three by visiting a nearby park, where we had a picnic lunch and walked around to show Nora the livestock there.  She saw a baby cow, a big cow, rabbits, chickens, baby chicks, and lambs, but she was most interested in the dog a woman was walking nearby on a leash.  So I guess we can be sure we have the right animal in our house!  We also went to another farm nearby which has several greenhouses full of flowers, and Nora loved looking around at all the arrangements hanging from above.  Today we spent the day with Billy's family, first stopping up at his parent's house to give Patti her cards and flowers, and then going up to his Aunt Mary's to have a delicious meal with several of the family members, including MomMom, Nora's great grandmother on Patti's side.  Being with two other generations of mothers and my daughter made it interesting to think about how much more enjoyment motherhood has in store for me while also wondering about what things will be like for Nora if she eventually decides to become a mother.

Maybe next year, with more mothering under my belt, I'll feel more like this day is a celebration of me. I did want to commemorate my first Mother's Day with Nora, though, so I had Billy take a few pictures of us here at home.

Most of all, I'd like to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the other moms in my life.  In my own family, my mom, both my grandmothers, and my aunts have inspired me to want to become a mom and helped me learn what kind of mother I want to be.  This is our family's first mother's day without our Gramma Kingston, who viewed being a mother as one of her most important jobs.  I know my mom must be missing her even more today than usual, but I also know Gramma would be proud to see how quickly my mom has taken to being a grandmother and how much she has encouraged me as I find my way in this new role.  My husband's mom, Patti, his grandmothers, and his aunts have also helped me learn the value of nourishing the mother/child bond within the context of a tight-knit and supportive extended family.  And finally, I'd like to thank my friends who've helped me navigate what it means to be a mom in the 21st Century.  I'd be lost without all of the moms in my life, and I feel fortunate to be able to use what I've learned from each of you to help me be the type of mom Nora deserves.