Danielle and I caught up over brunch on Sunday. Billy is exasperated with the Orioles. I'm glad to have my Cather project behind me, at least for a few months. I've begun working on the only seminar paper I have to write this semester, which feels refreshing. Last spring I had to write three. We're looking forward to some plans for the weekend. In a month, we'll get to see my family for Vickie's graduation.
Mostly it feels like there's more air to breathe. Now that my MA project is completed and both Katie and I have been admitted to the PhD program, it feels like I've finally been able to leave behind the heavy burden I've been carrying for the past 18 months. I am excited to see what graduate school will be like now that I can focus on doing the work that interests me rather than worrying that everything could go awry at any moment. It's not like I won't try as hard, so I'm not quite sure why it feels so different, but it does.
Maybe it feels different because it's finally sinking in that I've proven to myself that I could do it. The doubt is gone. And that's a great feeling.
(Goodbye to All That is Robert Graves's autobiography, which focuses mostly on his service in the Great War. If you've been following the thread of my fascination with autobiographies, you'll be interested to know that this one is particularly noteworthy because Graves wrote it with the intention of making it a profitable bestseller. Evidently he knew what his audience wanted from his "life story" because it sold like crazy. Incidentally, "Goodbye to All That" is also the final essay in Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem collection, which I'll be discussing in class later today. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I was pretty sure I would like this one ever since I saw the awesome 60s photo of her on said cover.)
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI think that you are feeling relief and allowing yourself to relax....you generally don't give yourself permission to do that....
Your Grandmother will be thrilled that you also like autobiographies, so here is a heads up for a future phone call.
Congrats to Katie as well...I'm happy for both of you that you can continue this journey together....
Go A's!!! See you soon...
Hi Mom,
ReplyDeleteI forgot to respond to this note originally. I've discussed autobiographies with Gramma, but she doesn't like my attitude toward them. I've determined that she likes to read these types of texts as if they are a presentation of "the facts," whereas I am intrigued not so much by what has happened to people as by how they choose to represent themselves. She told me that if she was thinking about these things while reading the books she would not "enjoy" them, which is fair enough. I'm aware that the ways in which I "enjoy" texts are very different than the ways people who read for pleasure do.
And thanks! Katie and I are excited, too.