The Downward Path to Wisdom

Though it's not well documented in this blog, my interest in pop culture is no big secret. I'm convinced that if Nate, Vickie, and I could compete in the competition they used to have on Vh1 called the "World Series of Pop Culture," we could easily make the finals. Although I've kicked my Perez Hilton addiction, I still rarely make it through a day without checking people.com and/or eonline.com. Some people seem to think that this interest I have in celebrity culture runs contradictory to my "serious" interest in pursuing a career in academia, but I don't see why I can't have both. Michel Foucault seems to have managed an interest in bondage and sado-masochism while still establishing himself as one of the most important thinkers of the 20th century, so I don't think I'm the first one to be interested in dramatically different activites. And while I don't appreciate celebrities telling me how to vote, I don't think that professional thinkers like Foucault have the monopoly on wisdom.

Today, I have been thinking about a few influential quotes made by celebrities. Last week, Billy and I tuned in to watch Conan O'Brien's final Tonight Show, and I was moved by the "goodbye" message he delivered. Though he waited several years for his dream job and held it for only less than a year, he signed off by saying, "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." I don't know if this is true; I hope it is. I do know, though, that everything good I've ever gotten in my life has resulted from a combination of working really hard and being kind, and some amazing things have happened to me. He can't be all wrong.

This morning, I woke up early to watch the quarterfinal match between Andy Roddick and Marin Cilic I had DVRed overnight. Andy hung in there in his last match against Fernando Gonzalez, and though he admitted to getting a fair amount of good luck, I believe it was his mental toughness that carried him through. I've seen Gonzo play in person, and he doesn't have that determination. I watched him lie down on the court on a hot day. Really-- del Potro climbed over the net to help him up. Today, Roddick's determination was not enough to get him the win. After losing the first two sets to Cilic, he was able to even the score by winning the next two despite a shoulder injury that made his fingers go numb. He was broken early in the last set, and you have to hand it to Cilic for staying in the match mentally after seeing a 2 set lead disappear. Watching Andy lose this morning reminded me of what he said immediately after losing to Federer in last year's Wimbledon final. I can't imagine what it must be like to be asked to speak publicly after the most devastating moment in your professional career. You might remember that when Federer was forced to do this after losing last year's Australian Open Final, he said "God- it is killing me," pushed the microphone away, and broke down in tears. There were tears behind Andy's eyes when he lost, too. But when the interviewer suggested that tennis can be a cruel sport, Roddick said "No, I'm one of the lucky few that gets cheered for. So thank you for that, I appreciate it," before saying he still hopes to get his name on the trophy one day.

Andy gets in a practice session at the Legg Mason Tennis Classic in DC, August 2009.

While I was getting ready for work, I was listening to Billy Joel's "Vienna" on repeat, per Anne-Marie's suggestion. In the song, he sings "Slow down, you're doing fine. You can't be everything you want to be before your time," and "You got your passion, you got your pride, but don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true."

As I was mulling all of these things over, I remember that when I chose my classes for this semester, I promised myself I would enjoy it. It could be my last semester in grad school for quite some time, so I intentionally chose classes I thought would be fun. I mean, look at all these books I get to read:

Left: ENGL631: Readings in American Literature: Women's Writers of the 20th Century
Right: ENGL748b: Seminar in American Literature: Color Lines and American Literature, 1840-1880.

So this is the new goal: remember that I promised myself I would enjoy it. I might not get into the PhD program, but I have to try to keep the anxiety from causing me to break a promise to myself.

("The Downward Path to Wisdom" is a short story by Katherine Anne Porter and currently available in her Collected Stories. It's mostly a story about a young boy and perceptions across a generational divide.)