'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Billy and I enjoyed a really nice Christmas this year. We didn't get to see Billy's mom's side of the family because they celebrated together on the 26th, after we had already left town. But we got to see them all at Thanksgiving, and we stopped by MomMom's a few days before the holiday to spend some time with her. On Christmas Eve, we had dinner with Billy's dad's side of the family at Nana's house, which was relaxed and pleasant. After that, we exchanged gifts at Billy's parents' house before coming home.

On Christmas day, Billy and I slept late and stayed in bed to watch A Christmas Story with Oscar. I spent most of the day reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I mentioned earlier that I was giving to Mom for Christmas. I like the hustle and bustle of being with family for the holidays, but I really liked spending a relaxing day at home with Billy and Oscar before heading to Patti and Chuck's to have Christmas dinner with both of them and Brian.

In Eat, Pray, Love, an Italian friend of Gilbert's tells her that every city has a "word," and every person has one, too. The word sums up the attitude of the city but also what drives its action and motivates its inhabitants. He says that Rome's word is "sex." She decides that New York City's word is "achieve" and that Los Angeles's word is "succeed," which is similar but not quite the same. Since reading this, I have been thinking about what my "word" would be. I think I've decided that recently, my word has been "discover." I think this operates in a couple of different ways. In my academic pursuits, I am always trying to figure out what there is to discover: in the books themselves, in the connections between them, in the relationships between the books and their historical contexts, and more. My discovery that Willa Cather's letter to H.L. Mencken says almost exactly what I would have predicted it would say was one of the most exciting moments of my semester.

I think that discover is also my "word," though, because I am also always trying to discover more about myself. Graduate school has allowed me to push myself to what feels like the limit, to go beyond that limit, and to learn that I am capable of even more than I realized. I think distance running appeals to me in the same way; it is a chance to push my physical body beyond the point at which I want to give up, to refuse to quit, and to discover that I'm capable of more than I might have thought. I think this focused process of physical, emotional, and intellectual self-discovery has helped me to feel much more at peace with myself and my surroundings since I started graduate school. I think it has made me happier in my life and has benefitted my marriage, even though all these pursuits put constraints upon my time. I have always enjoyed spending time with Billy, but lately I have been at peace in a way I had not been before.

I've also been trying to think of how I can apply this strategy of "discovery" to my work as an educator. Next year, I will most likely be back in the classroom, whether that is as a high school teacher or as a teaching assistant at Maryland. I'd like to figure out how I can use this approach to discover more about myself, my students, and my subject in my work as a teacher.

More to come about our trip to California...

('Twas the Night Before Christmas is the classic holiday story by Clement Clarke Moore that we read every Christmas Eve in my family.)